Snow Day

[ExRhapsody]

For days when you just don't want to go to school...

I've got my books and jacket ready
I look outside, the snow is steady
Brace myself, the cold is heady
Please give us one snow day

The cold wind here is really blowin'
Icy flakes, they just keep flowin'
The feeling in my limbs are goin'
Please, god, just one snow day

The wind shoves snow into my face
I try to walk but stay in place
Until I trip on my shoelace
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* snow day

I scraped my palm, my knees are bloody
Don't look at me, keep walkin' buddy!
I'm going home, this day is cruddy
I'll make my own snow day

~ExRhapsody~

[suigintou]

Hey, meter isn't dead after all! Glad to see someone else around here makes use of it. You kind of changed it suddenly at the third stanza though, and when you change something that's already been established but don't really give a reason, the reader kind of "stumbles."

By the way, really liked the "don't look at me" line. Put a smile on my face.

Anyway, pretty cool piece. Could be improved in a few places, but really, those first two stanzas, as well as the final one, are great just the way they are. Keep up the good work. <3

[strike7785]

Thats a cute poem

[Holly-Sama]

You wouldn't believe how many days that I have had that were exactly like your poem.

[ExRhapsody]

Thanks for the feedback :)
Sui ~ I changed up the third stanza so it runs smooth now.
Holly ~ I was inspired by many days treading through the snow to get to school. Today I did happen to stub my toe on an uneven sidewalk and stumble comically, almost falling. If it hadn't of been me... I would've laughed.