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#1 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
Location: Mars
Age: 25
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"Cut my veins and drown myself in my blood
I'd like to hang but my stool ran away from me Jumping on the road, cars break and laugh 'cause I'm odd Seems that death itself don't want such ignominy" You rant at the world and about how you'll give up But on your face we can all read "Need Attention" Talking about it won't change anything, cheer up You're too busy hating everything with passion Your heart is bleeding, your heart is black Your blood is flowing, your blood is black Your flood is dying, your flood is black Why the hell everything has to be black? I'd be ashamed to be the color black You say no one cares about you, but you hang out in crowds? Is it just me or something's not making any sense here? You chant about the day where you'll all be wrapped in your shrouds If your leader tastes joy it ends up in a mutineer Instead of trying you lament and moan Spitting on your friends your depressive pheromones Sitting in a corner yelling "I cry black tears" I mean, come on, Who the hell cries black tears?
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#2 |
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Let's not forget the tendency to try so hard to be nonconformist that one ends up conforming to ways of being a nonconformist. :3
But yeah, these words pretty well echo my opinions on the emo lifestyle. Not so much the look, but the ideology. Typical teenage depression stage...hey, I'll admit I went through it once. Anyway, nice work. I think I would have appreciated it more if it were in prose rather than lines broken up into stanzas, though. It flows like prose...just doesn't look like it, you know?
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#3 | ||||||||
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Location: Virginia
Age: 21
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10/10, thank you for posting this.
PS: post number 500 woot
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"We spend most of our time and energy in a kind of horizontal thinking. We move along the surface of things [but] there are times when we stop. We sit still. We lose ourselves in a pile of leaves or its memory. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper." ~James Carroll
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#4 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
Location: Mars
Age: 25
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Nah, it isn't prose, if you count the syllabes and ways to rhymes in it, each stanzas is different somehow. AND, I was very proud of rhyming in english this time. So yeah.. thanks for the comments folks~
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#5 | |
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Quote:
And, I dunno, to me it just read as if it were prose. I'm sure it's different for everyone.
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#6 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
Location: Setaru
Age: 22
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10/10
That is fantastic! It is very touching, very moving and very true. The words spoken in this poem is what people go threw and what come can relate to.
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#7 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Loyal Fan
Location: Anywhere but where you are.
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Well done. This makes a lot of sense to me... You put into words what I could not.
It reminds me of a cartoon I was once shown... Here it is: http://www.savagechickens.com/2006/0...est-rally.html -Tovarishch
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#8 |
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AF's Head of the Arts
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Seems very emo... I like it
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#9 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
Location: Mars
Age: 25
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Well yeah.. it's a satire against emo.
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#10 |
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Anime Fuel Veteran
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Bravo! Bravo! Probably my favorite poem yet.
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