I suppose that this is "Dark Poetry"

[Tovarishch]

A while ago I posted a song I wrote back when I was getting married. I found that script by chance, in a box of old stuff I have. I finished cleaning out that box just now, and discovered some poems that I wrote back from my teenage years.I was very depressed, and there was alot going on that really messed me up.

Anyways, I thought that these might be enjoyed by someone here.

Or not.

Whatever.

Just remember that they will be a little rough, because I wasn't the best writer, and I had to translate them into English from Russian in order to post them. Also, they are a little long, but...

Aww, screw it, I'll just post the damn things.

Here they are:

HATE
Hate festers within,
A devouring plague
Of the soul,
A black, bottomless pit
Of the mind,
Waging a never-ending war
With hope,
On the vast battlefields
Of the heart


SELF
A weathered soul,
Tormented
By the memories of
What should
Have been,
And by the thought
Of what will never be


ALONE
My problems chase me
Can’t escape them
I try to fight
To no avail
I infect everyone
I know
I share my burden
Unwillingly
It’s not their
Pain to endure
Why must I hurt
All I know?
Why must I destroy all I hold dear?
This man is an island
Broken off from the mainland
Self-inflicted quarantine
To prevent the infection
Of the rest of humanity


LOST
I wander
In a deep forest
Grown of my own incompetence,
Consequence of a mistake
Of the past.
I have not destination,
No safe harbor in this storm
We call life,
And as I struggle onward,
I do the best I can,
Which
(odd as it sounds)
Is usually
Not good enough


RAGE
Angry at the world, I
Turn away,
My back to it all,
Preferring my own
Company
Above that of others.
Why won’t you
Leave me in
Peace?
Just leave me
Alone!
Give me back
What is
Rightfully mine-
The everlasting
Silence
Of my
Insanity


MORTAL
The sun sets,
A newborn dies,
Life fades away
A flower withers,
Friends move,
Joy falls into decay
Nothing is permanent
Nothing is sacred
There is no hope
For a “happy ending”
Only sorrow
Despair
And grieving
Grieving is good
I suppose
I have heard that
It is the price we pay
For loving
It shows, then,
That that which was lost
Was loved
Who loves me?
Who will grieve for me
When I am gone?
Will anyone care?
Or will apathy envelope all
Until not one bit of care exists
For this world
And it is too late
For another soul
Lost to oblivion
And time


REASON
My choices
Shape my life
Like a sculptor shapes clay
Like the wind shapes the clouds
Like a blacksmith shapes metal
Hammering it
Forcefully bending it to his will
Making it appear how he
Wishes
Changing its uses
And its usefulness
Will he make a horseshoe
Meant for work
To be trodden on until it is
Worthless
Perhaps he will make a sword
Meant only to kill
To bring suffering
Or glory
To all it touches
Or maybe he will make
A child’s toy
Meant to bring joy
Only for a short while
Until the child grows older
And casts it aside
In favor of something else
What, then, is the point of life
When, in the end,
What I have done
Has little impact or meaning
Upon the world?
Perhaps I should just give up
End it all now
End the suffering,
The pain,
And just let go


REGRET
I’m drowning
I cannot
Breathe
My head keeps
Going under
Longer and longer
I’m drowning
In a sea of regret
Tears of sorrow
My eyes are dry, though
They won’t weep anymore
My actions
They scream
So loudly
I cannot hear
Through my memories
Memories of the past
My past
It burns in my mind
Like a fiery brand
Searing my soul
To the core
The core of my
Consciousness
Is on fire
I hate this
I hate hurting
I hate the mental pain
Of this sin
I hate hating
I hate myself
Why does it hurt?
Get thee hence
Stop telling me
Your personal life
It’s not my business
Leave me alone!
Leave me to myself!
Let me hate in peace!
I am
Who
I am
Just try and change that
I dare you


CREATURE
I hate my self
I hate what I’ve become
I hate it
My eyes
See only sin
My ears
Hear only screams
My body
Feels nothing but pain
Yet I am numb
All over
My tongue
Tastes bile
The bitter sting of pain
Spawned of jealousy
And lust
All of these
I hate them
My senses
They are all
Part of me
Part of my hate
Part of my creation
My abomination
To nature
My frankenmind


REVENGE
I open a library book,
And there they are:
Scrawled on the inside
Of the cover,
Angry words.
I laughed then.
Little did I realize that
What seemed foolish
Now is the truth.
“Fuck the world.”
Strong words.
Words of absolute truth.
The world,
It cares nothing for me.
Why should I care for it?
Why give when one
Never receives?
Empty promises,
They suck the heart dry of blood-
The fluid of emotion-
Until that now-hollow vessel
Breaks
And leaves one with nothing
But the pain
And sorrow
Of loss.
Why, I ask,
Why, then, should I care?
I try to love
All the people I come in contact
With
And for some reason
They hate me back,
Wearing a mask with a false smile plastered
Across the front
Like a filthy slug
Crawling on a headstone.
Those angry words
Written with such animosity
Inside of a library book
Give me strength,
They fuel me with hate,
They give me a reason
To keep on living-
If nothing else,
I live to bring pain,
Secular retribution
From a black soul
Upon those who denied me
My right to live
As a member of humanity


PRISONER
I delight in torture
Pain is my only friend
My mood is as black as
My heart
My heart is as black as
My conscious
My conscious is as black as
My sin
My sin swallows me whole
I am buried alive in an open grave
That I myself dug
Something eats me from the inside out
Slowly chewing its way out
Why must I suffer?
What did I do?
Full of tender hatred for all
Surrounding me
They mock me
Modern day Job
But I’ve had enough
No longer can I suffer
And be silent
No longer will I be patient
With those who torment me
But what can I do?
Fight back?
How?
My limbs are strapped down
To this chair by my own follies
Forced into a strait jacket of lies
I scream,
I struggle,
But to no avail
Prodded into insanity by the
Jailer of my soul
This creature of own my imagination
Of my own creation
Sheer hopelessness envelopes me
I stare around myself for
Something
Anything
To save me
Alas
There is no light
At the end of
My tunnel
Abandoned and alone, I turn to
My last resort
In my struggle
For order
In the chaos that is
My existence
I turn to pain
As it is the only thing
That is truly real
Anymore
I spin into oblivion
Completely and totally numb
With nothing to wait for but
The apocalypse of my mind

-Tovarishch

[KiriJolith]

Very nice. I know these were written long ago and translated, but they are actually very good.

[Raven]

Wow, that was a lot of poem there! I particularly liked "Reason" and how it varied in views of the world. Good work, especially for being translated! ....need to learn Russian...

[lemonek]

i really like it. I used to write similar stuff long time ago.