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Old 07-22-2008   #1
Klard
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Talking Chuck Norris Facts
Yes, I realize we have a thread dedicated to jokes, but it seems pretty dead to me. Also, I want to hear Chuck Norris Facts. So lay 'em on me.

1. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

2. Chuck Norris does not go hunting. The word hunting infers the possibility of failure. Chuck goes killing.

3. Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunblock. The sun wears chuck block.

4. Several people were killed after Chuck Norris gave them the finger.

5. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

6. Chuck Norris counted to infinity...
...twice.

7. Chuck Norris is 1/8 th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f****** indian.

8. Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

9. Crop Circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

10. A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and you will be handicapped if you park there.

11. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

12. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
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Old 07-22-2008   #2
monsoon 10
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Chuck Norris told a joke to Chuck Norris once. Chuck Norris didn't laugh because Chuck Norris jokes aren't all that funny.
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Old 07-22-2008   #3
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Billy Mays once met Chuck Norris and convinced him to buy a lifetime supply of Orange Glo.
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Old 07-22-2008   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monsoon 10 View Post
Chuck Norris told a joke to Chuck Norris once. Chuck Norris didn't laugh because Chuck Norris jokes aren't all that funny.
Post something relevant or get out.
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“Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks.”
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Old 07-22-2008   #5
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http://www.animefuel.com/forum/showt...ht=Chuck+Facts There's a bit more posted here.
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Old 07-22-2008   #6
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Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
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Old 07-22-2008   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Klard View Post
Post something relevant or get out.
What are you talking about that is a legitimate Chuck Norris fact.
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Old 07-22-2008   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monsoon 10 View Post
What are you talking about that is a legitimate Chuck Norris fact.
You know as well as I do that you enjoy random insults. That is as much a Chuck Norris fact as I'm an opera singer. How do I know? I have a website dedicated solely to chuck norris jokes as a reference.
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"The wisest men follow their own direction" -Euripides

“Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks.”
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Old 07-22-2008   #9
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Chuck Norris isn't in movies anymore because nowadays they film movies in Hi-Def. If you see Chuck Norris in HD, your eyes will bleed. So now he is in Total Gym commercials.

(I just came up with that one btw)
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Old 07-22-2008   #10
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There are no disabled people; only people who have met Chuck Norris.
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“Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks.”
-Euripides, Aeolus

“Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.”
-Euripides
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