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Creative Writing Share your creative literacy with us!

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Old 06-16-2008   #1
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Default }i{ sp!r!t's haiku }i{

Ok. I believe no one likes to read ridiculously long texts, right?
So, here something really short. Like a haiku.




On the bottom of my soul
I trim the smile' strings
into pearls... of own tears
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Since when did you get so good now? :)
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Old 06-16-2008   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sp!r!t View Post
Ok. I believe no one likes to read ridiculously long texts, right?
So, here something really short. Like a haiku.




On the bottom of my soul
I trim the smile' strings
into pearls... of own tears

I wouldn't exactly say that I dont like reading long stories or poetry but It sounds great keep it going make it longer
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Old 06-16-2008   #3
spirit

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no way.... why longer ^^ haha JK
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Old 06-16-2008   #4
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Wow, I like it. I can see two ways it can be taken... How did you mean for it to be taken?
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Old 06-16-2008   #5
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Originally Posted by Raven View Post
Wow, I like it. I can see two ways it can be taken... How did you mean for it to be taken?
yeah, I know... that's just the same what my Vocal teacher told me after she read the whole thing.... 'cause that just the part of something much longer.. which I have a really hard time finding.... ehhh...
I remember... she was sitting at the piano... and she cried while she was reading it... then she just came up to me... and started to hug me (which was a lil bit awkward, haha)
I think.... it's more depressing... 'cause the state of my mind at that moment was pretty heavy.... something I wrote in a moment... when I couldn't cry my tears out anymore... cause i've cried so much... they didnt want to come down anymore....... and the smile... something fake... that our american society expects from everyone.... no, demands!
"how are you?" - it doesn't matter if I'm on a floor... lying in a pool of my own blood.... still I got to respond "Hii, I'm good..... no! excellent! How about you?" Don't you dare uncover your true feeling.... neither complain.... you can't - it's "wrong"..... however if you try.... everyone will ignore it.......
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Old 06-16-2008   #6
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Hmm... I don't know too much about these things, I guess its good.
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Old 06-16-2008   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sp!r!t View Post
yeah, I know... that's just the same what my Vocal teacher told me after she read the whole thing.... 'cause that just the part of something much longer.. which I have a really hard time finding.... ehhh...
I remember... she was sitting at the piano... and she cried while she was reading it... then she just came up to me... and started to hug me (which was a lil bit awkward, haha)
I think.... it's more depressing... 'cause the state of my mind at that moment was pretty heavy.... something I wrote in a moment... when I couldn't cry my tears out anymore... cause i've cried so much... they didnt want to come down anymore....... and the smile... something fake... that our american society expects from everyone.... no, demands!
"how are you?" - it doesn't matter if I'm on a floor... lying in a pool of my own blood.... still I got to respond "Hii, I'm good..... no! excellent! How about you?" Don't you dare uncover your true feeling.... neither complain.... you can't - it's "wrong"..... however if you try.... everyone will ignore it.......
I see, I want to read the whole thing and get depressed and cry too!
You need to find it! That's a wonderful topic for a depressing topic and I would greatly enjoy reading the entire text.
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Old 06-17-2008   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sp!r!t View Post
Ok. I believe no one likes to read ridiculously long texts, right?
So, here something really short. Like a haiku.




On the bottom of my soul
I trim the smile' strings
into pearls... of own tears

Why think in haiku
When I speak in normal prose?
Better not to ask.

Not made by me but still better.
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Old 06-17-2008   #9
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Oh I really like it! Keep the good work ^^
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Old 07-06-2008   #10
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it's nice, this reminded me when I had an english project last year(I had to make a haiku)
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