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Creative Writing Share your creative literacy with us!

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Old 04-09-2008   #1
sapphireAT
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Default The Third Full Moon

hey im writing a story that just popped into my mind the other day. its about this girl named Saki Monogukii who follows a legend about meeting true love under the height of the third full moon but when she meets her true love she ends up almost a meal for a vampire....which he eventually ends up not biting her...her powers tell him not to...(she's angelic. and an angels blood is poisionous to vampires in this story) so throughout the story the vampire named Nite tries to find other means to feed his needs by using her emotions. its quite interesting i think
the main characters are:
Saki monogukii
Nite Bligitone
Riion Kakizima
the enimies:
fin-fire elemental
wo-water elemental
Eerie-air elemental
Ember-earth elemental
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Old 04-09-2008   #2
archangle
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its a little interesting but u need to spice it up a bit more....it needs improvement
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Old 04-09-2008   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by archangle View Post
its a little interesting but u need to spice it up a bit more....it needs improvement
don't say that :/ i wanna read it before judging ^_^
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Old 04-09-2008   #4
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sounds like a good story, hope you can spice it up with some action in there :)
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Old 04-10-2008   #5
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ur are right epoc...i should read the full story before passing my judgement...srry about that
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Old 04-10-2008   #6
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im good at proof reading. (good at helping make a story fluid and also just making it make sence to the reader) so if you need a proof reader im open to help

Ask Crymson i've proof read some of his stuff
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Old 04-10-2008   #7
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nice.. to be honest it doesn't need to be spiced up since its just a summary, but increase the romance and that would make one awesome story..give it a bit of mystery to it as well, not bad for just off the top of your head... your good!
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Old 04-10-2008   #8
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I pretty sure that aint the whole plot and that she has somethings up her sleeves!!! I wanna be the first to read it yo!!!
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Old 04-10-2008   #9
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Default added more to the plot

Quote:
Originally Posted by KillionX6 View Post
I pretty sure that aint the whole plot and that she has somethings up her sleeves!!! I wanna be the first to read it yo!!!
i just added some more to the plot...on Saki's birthday she is givin a blue rose...which once a pedal fall a power starts to grow within the carrier...in saki's place its an angelic being...once she is kissed by her true love this angelic being takes form...(havnt figured out the purpose of this being yet just that since she is angelic now she is immune to being biten by vampires) if she is not kissed by the last pedal of the flower falls then the being becomes a demon...only a true love kiss can purify the power. ...also nite, the vampire that kidnaps saki, brings her into the manor and his older sister Fin is enrage with this fact. there will be war against angels and vampires....not bad for the top of my head huh?
saph
ps
i'll try to post chapter for you all to read later
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Last edited by sapphireAT; 04-10-2008 at 08:19 PM..
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Old 04-10-2008   #10
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haha i'm going to make a story too now xD buy gief story too me later ^_^
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