Pain

[JessaBaby]

What is this feeling
In the finger I bend
Every breath I take
Grows weaker
For this feeling
I cannot explain
The ones who cut
Think they're smart
I who is smarter
Leaves no trace
No scars
No blood
Sometimes a Broken finger
But no one will ever know
No one
My pain
This feeling
My secret




An old friend of mine thought that she was smart.....She wouldn't cut herself because it left scars.....So she would bend her fingers back till they broke so she could cause pain to herself........She committed suicide a few months after starting this habit. Watch the people you love, just because there's no scars doesn't mean they aren't hurting themselves

[Zero Ichi]

that is a really sad thing to hear, im sorry about your friend, but this also opens my eyes just a bit more to the ugly truths that could be hiding right in front of me

[suigintou]

Aye, but it is not our place to intrude on someone's pain unless they are willing to share it.

I like this piece, I really do. I've been reading your poetry as you post it, never really commenting but observing. You have a definite voice - something that is missing from some other poetry on this site (though, that's certainly changed lately, hasn't it? we're actually getting quality here these days).

I think you have some silly redundancy in telling us the narrator can't explain the feeling after she already made that clear in the first line, but it's not a big deal.

Don't really feel like going into real detailed criticism or something at this point, but keep up the good work regardless. And do consider punctuation. It really has its place, and I think this poem would work with it, even if it's not necessary.

[fazenda]

it really makes you think, 4/5 stars

[JessaBaby]

Originally Posted by suigintou

Aye, but it is not our place to intrude on someone's pain unless they are willing to share it.

I like this piece, I really do. I've been reading your poetry as you post it, never really commenting but observing. You have a definite voice - something that is missing from some other poetry on this site (though, that's certainly changed lately, hasn't it? we're actually getting quality here these days).

I think you have some silly redundancy in telling us the narrator can't explain the feeling after she already made that clear in the first line, but it's not a big deal.

Don't really feel like going into real detailed criticism or something at this point, but keep up the good work regardless. And do consider punctuation. It really has its place, and I think this poem would work with it, even if it's not necessary.

Thank you so much for this comment it means a lot ^.^ I understand I should start using punctuation but I've gotten into a bad habit of not doing it so I really should start :P Thank you for correcting me I will try not to talk to much and leave it up to interpretation ^.^