Untitled

[runt32a]

this one "UNTITELED" is a mixer of other writings of mine put into one thats all that "UNTITELED" is, is just parts of other writings that i have made put into one poem showing a few of my writings that i like all in one with the parts that i like if you have read the other ones that have some parts taken out of you may be abile to figure out which parts came from which writing i did change the line a bit so it may be a bit hard for some but some are pretty easy like "breathing in and breathing out" for instance is from the poem just below this one which is called "where all creaters cross paths striding the neutral grounds" so i hope you enjoy "UNTITELED"

UNTITELED

I live this life of mine
Day after day and night after night
For no one not even myself
Fighting the waves and tides
Of the silences of my let alone thoughts and mind
Saying, “no pain no game”

Breathing in and breathing out
Breathing light and breathing dark
Breathing blessings and breathing sins
Breathing day and breathing night
Living for nothing but pain itself

Often grinning and laugh with a bad attitude
Loving the feeling I get when I’m being cruel
Not caring about myself
Seeing no reason to live or die
Alive on the outside where everyone can see me
But dead on the inside where no one looks at all
Pushing myself day after day
And night after night
As I stride these grounds of the world of the living
Waiting for everyone
To turn their backs on me
Getting lost in the question
“What am I fighting for”?

Till the moment I contain no breath to breathe
Till the instant I obtain my last breath
Till the instant I let this world receive my last breath of life
Till the instant I’m within my deathbed
Till the instant I give up the fight

I watch my life pass me by
Striding theses grounds
Living for nothing but pain itself
I watch other live without a care in the world
Wondering why don’t they just die
Wanting to live but wanting to die
Living by pain as others live by love
Playing my games and feeding myself
Watching as things fall apart
Grinning inside as I feed on the pain that I cause myself

No one knows if they get played
No one knows if they are just saved
No one knows my game till it’s to late
When they can’t escape without the pain
That I cause them to feed my thirst for my own pain
No one knows me fully
Not even at the end of my game with them

Some may get me back
And I shall thank them
For feeding me
Among my thirst for my own pain
As I stride theses grounds
Watching my live pass me all by
Living my live
How I want to
Letting things be
How they are

Subsisting in this world
Breathing in and breathing out
Till I vanish from this world
To the towering depths of despair of heaven
Or the profound depths of despair of hell
Leaving the neutral grounds of heaven and hell
That is neither except the world of the living

Striding theses grounds
Fighting more and more
As the waves, and tides
Seems to hit me even harder each time
As I wonder, as I ask myself why…
Why am I still here?
Why should I care?
Fighting, wondering, asking why…what…
Why am I fighting?
What is it that I am fighting for?
What is there to fight for in this deep dark blue ocean of my thoughts and mind?

As I stride these grounds with no concern for myself
Striding these grounds neither terrified to die nor live
Stride these grounds just to stride them
Striding theses grounds in neither good nor evil but both

As I fight away looking searching for the answers
As the waves, and tides hit me
Wondering, asking myself why… what… on away…
Getting a little bit more tired as I fight
Feeling a little bit more of my faith, my dreams
Myself, my everything slip away a little bit more each day…
Until the day all my faith, my dreams
Myself, my everything is completely gone…
I shall be finding myself fighting
The waves, and tides
Of the silences of my let alone thoughts and mind

Living among this world
Striding these grounds for whatever reasons
I come across
For I can’t go back now
For the grounds I have destroyed
For the sins I’ve done
Or the blessings I have come across

Knowing what’s happening
Knowing what will happen
If I don’t stop and change
But never caring
For I do what I please
For the pleasure
I get out of everything

For as I stride theses grounds
Watching everything and everyone change before me
While I hide in the shadows
Or burn in the light
Burn with the bliss
That shines down on me
Rising me to the greatest paradises
Rising me to heaven
Or hide with the sins
That will bury me deep
In the hottest cores of hell
Of the damned

For what I do
Shall not matter
For we all shall suffer
One way or the other
At least once in our life times