Last One Standing Wins: Part One

[Memorix]

I guess we brought this fate upon ourselves. Our own desire for power and wealth blinded us and quickly lead us to where we are today. The year was 3128. Every country seemed to have built up its military strength and weapons supplies. No one could be trusted, allies had become enemies, and enemies became everyone's worst nightmares. Countries would attack each other for no reason at all. Civilans were seen as targets, no one was safe. This went on for several years.

Finally, the world couldn't handle itself anymore. In a single day, half the world seemed to be blown away by nuclear fire. What people survived hid inside shelters and bunkers for safety. When they came out, they were greeted by " Them ". Those abominations known as Lamia. They only saw us as food and killed us and devoured us whenever they got the chance. What little communication remained was used to warn everyone that was still alive about these things. Slowly though, people began fighting back agianst these things. Soon after people began fighting back, a group of people of joined together and started an army known as " W.D.C. " to help fight agianst the Lamia. It started out with only twenty people at first but soon grew. After four years, the W.D.C. had at least 3,750 soldiers. Now it has 8,000 soldiers. But no matter how many people start fighting agianst these things, they always out number us. There were always reinforcements arriving to help these things, but no one could ever figure out where they were coming from. We soon learned that they were building nest and tunnel systems underground that helped them enter a battle without being seen. Ever since we've been destroying as many nest as possible trying to kill off the population of the Lamia. Even after we've wiped out countless Lamia and nest, and won many battles agianst these things, were still losing the war. People are dying quicker than before and these things have become stronger than ever. How much longer will it be before we destroy these things? That I'm not certain... But at this rate we'll be wiped completely away by the Lamia... It's only a matter of time...


( sorry if this is a little boring, but i'm trying to explain the story so far before getting into any action or true storyline. If you have any questions or comments about the story feel free to ask. Hope you're at least interested so far, and i'm currently making the second part! )

[ChronosXII]

Not bad! You've obviously put a lot of thought into it, and (unlike many people) you have a decent understanding of the English language and how it works. If there's anything I can recommend, it would be reading a few books by other authors that have some similar story-lines in their books. The one I would recommend is the Vampire Earth series by E.E. Knight. However, if you don't have the time, money or method to go pick a book up then then all I could suggest is that for the connecting of this part and the next you should almost "zoom in" on the next part. What I mean is this:

"But at this rate we'll be wiped completely away by the Lamia... It's only a matter of time..." I thought to myself as (enter immediate setting and/or main characters actions here).

Of course, maybe this contradicts your writing style and if so then just subtly forget I said anything.^_^

[Memorix]

Originally Posted by ChronosXII

Not bad! You've obviously put a lot of thought into it, and (unlike many people) you have a decent understanding of the English language and how it works. If there's anything I can recommend, it would be reading a few books by other authors that have some similar story-lines in their books. The one I would recommend is the Vampire Earth series by E.E. Knight. However, if you don't have the time, money or method to go pick a book up then then all I could suggest is that for the connecting of this part and the next you should almost "zoom in" on the next part. What I mean is this:

"But at this rate we'll be wiped completely away by the Lamia... It's only a matter of time..." I thought to myself as (enter immediate setting and/or main characters actions here).

Of course, maybe this contradicts your writing style and if so then just subtly forget I said anything.^_^

Hahaha... I'm actualy writing a back story for the setting and characters as well as a back story for the Lamia..

[2nd legacy]

intro sounds interesting

[KIRA_god]

oo i absolutly love this, very nice, from one writter to another i can tell ou its well written.

[starscream]

Can't wait for next installment

[Fox Girl]

I really like your story so far...sadly I haven't even put anymore of my story up yet but I guess I will do that sometime soon. Keep up the good work! ^^

[Inuyasha50]

Nice story, i give it a 1000 out of 10, that is better than usual!!!!! Way to go!!!

[metalshell]

that is so awesome!
i just can't wait to read the second part.

[SmokedBoo]

Very nice piece. This is definitely a nice change to the stories I've seen in here. If this is the story you were considering discontinuing I would advise you do not do so. I would be sad that such talent was wasted. This story has great potential and you don't get that feeling alot in just the introduction to the setting. This has actually left me wanting more and I seriously want to see what you have cooked up for the next part. If you decide that you want to continue makes sure you message me about the update as I don't usually come here.