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Creative Writing Share your creative literacy with us!

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Old 06-12-2008   #1
the murder
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Location: manhattan
Age: 21
the murder is on a distinguished road
Exclamation To Ashes

In the land of ruin, ash blackened skies
Where sorrow and despair strangles all hope
The stagnant air filled with horrible cries
Where pain and suffering makes hard to cope

Bodies cold on the ground weeping forever
Glassy eyes stare into infinity
Limbs of corpses left to the severer
Horrid red eyes flare with insanity

Scavengers peel bones of their sallow flesh
The pungent smell of death bleeds through the air
The land is filled by massacres enmesh
Through the killing fields screams of terror blare

Happiness cross over eyes in a flash
The reign of serenity burns to ash

.........feedback plz
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Old 06-12-2008   #2
kitty-kat
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wow thats dark...i love it =-_^=
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Old 06-12-2008   #3
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As a Raven, I must say it is a beautiful picture you paint. Artfully done though I think you spend too much time painting the picture and not describing why it was painted.
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Old 06-12-2008   #4
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i think it explains why...it describes a lost war to my eyes...well the aftermath of a war. thats what the poem is saying to me...makes me want to write one...i shall write one hehe
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Old 06-12-2008   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty-kat View Post
wow thats dark...i love it =-_^=

If I have problems in my poetry class Ill know who to come to
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