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Creative Writing Share your creative literacy with us!

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Old 09-18-2009   #1
JessaBaby
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Default Her's forever
She holds my heart
Her hands gripping tighter
I can't escape
For she owns me
And loves me
But scares me
For she scars me
And I scream
Silently
But I love her back anyways
Her Doll
Till the end
Never an escape
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Old 09-18-2009   #2
Zero Ichi
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there some deep feelings behind this one, i can see it, another good one Jessa, im beginning to love your poems, like alot! hahah
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Old 09-19-2009   #3
JessaBaby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zero Ichi View Post
there some deep feelings behind this one, i can see it, another good one Jessa, im beginning to love your poems, like alot! hahah
Lol thank you very much!
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Old 09-19-2009   #4
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it was ok

But scares me
For she scars me

but this part seems repetitive and could be fixed
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Old 09-20-2009   #5
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haaha your welcome, Jessa!

but how is it repetitive? not really seein it to be honest
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Old 09-20-2009   #6
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just the way that in the poem it is said and the practically said again
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Old 09-20-2009   #7
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but scares and scars are two different things, i think it was very well done, you almost always need a reason for every feeling exposed in a poem, at least for these kind of poems
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Old 09-20-2009   #8
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oh, whoops, I guess I missed the difference and I thought they where the same word, now that I notice that it is somewhat better.
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Old 09-21-2009   #9
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Thank you for the opinions guys
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