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08-27-2009
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#1 | ||||||||
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Banned Homo
Location: Delaware
Age: 19
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See me (Lol sorry guys its been so long!)
You were the most important person to me
Everything about you made me smile But when I fell Into that sad state Of depression..... Did you see me fall? Did you see me cry out to you? Did you see me in pain? Did you see me at all? You were everything to me your smile was the most important one I did everything you asked I dropped everything for you I even dropped myself Did you see me fall to the ground? Did you see me cry out when you left? Did you see me in pain when you stopped smiling at me? Did you see me at all? That's all I ever wanted from you All I ever needed from you For you Only you To see me |
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08-27-2009
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#2 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Loyal Fan
Location: Brazil
Age: 23
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Wow... that Was good.... I liked....
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" 'Cause I've got this something that's been going round. I've got this something. You don't know it, but you need it."    |
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08-27-2009
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#3 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
Location: Lost in the City of Wonder...
Age: 22
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That was nice and passionate! I know it's more of a free style and you didn't make rhymes and all but still I got to tell you this. The line "Of depression", shouldn't it go in the above line? Say for example:
"But when I fell" ... (have a very small pause here) "Into that sad state of depression" ... (have another small pause here, like you do, so that you can start you refrain) I am no professional, this is just my opinion after reading it. Except from that I like it very much! Good job! Keep it up!
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Amidst the ruins of the ancient city I stand now baffled by the blazing battle fought in front of my bare eyes... oh man how much anime did I watch last night!  
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08-27-2009
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#4 | |||||||||
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Banned Homo
Location: Delaware
Age: 19
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Quote:
Oh Okay.............I think I understand! Lol it took me a minute ^.^ I get what your saying, I write my poems on paper I don't type it and on paper it looks better that way :P Lol Last edited by JessaBaby; 08-27-2009 at 11:29 PM.. |
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08-28-2009
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#5 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
Location: pittsburgh, PA
Age: 23
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exactly how i felt, i like this one alot, jessa!
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Theres a reason to why this happened, just give me some time to figure it the f*** out! |
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08-28-2009
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#6 | ||||||||
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Anime Fuel Veteran
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Great job like always Jessa, keep them coming : )
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