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Creative Writing Share your creative literacy with us!

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Old 11-27-2008   #1
BuBBl3s
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Default lame poem !-.-

LIFE!



life is not fair...
it will never be...
no matter how much u dream and hope...
life is not fair...
it will never be...



..i am really bored.dis is kinda a really LAME summary of ma thought at da momment,and i WAS gonna write a more enjoyable poem but,i got to lazy..X.x
so ya i dont blame u for hating it ,..cause well........i do too ....X.x
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Last edited by BuBBl3s; 11-28-2008 at 03:17 AM..
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Old 11-27-2008   #2
giovanni r
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It's not that bad....
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Old 11-27-2008   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by giovanni r View Post
It's not that bad....
No, bubbles was right.

Its a lame poem.
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Old 11-27-2008   #4
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"Fair" is whatever God wants it to be... btw is that a poem? Sounds more like an exasperated moan to me however I try to say it. Not really easy on the tongue.
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Old 11-28-2008   #5
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Emo poetry is so bland, really. It's fine to write your heart's emotions out, but if you're going to just present them in the voice of of a whiny 10-year-old, it's not going to mean a whole lot to the reader.

Lay off the ellipses and use some better and less cliche-riddled diction.
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Old 11-28-2008   #6
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umm it's not bad...but keep it up!! ^_^
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