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Creative Writing Share your creative literacy with us!

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Old 10-30-2008   #1
stanmarsh
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Default Faker

Have you seen my fake smile I think its pretty good
there is a part of me that is misunderstood
yet I hide that part, that side of me
so no one around me will ever see
why do I fake it to hide you from the past
I have so many scars my "smile" is my cast
I'm a dirty rotten Faker and I know it
yeah that other part of me I wouldn't dare show it.
End of Poem One
Faker Two
I fake a smile every day
a brand new day to hide the way
I feel about my meaningless life
to much to do not enough to sacrifice
walking down an empty hall
With the wieght of my Sorrow I have to fall

Wrote thease in school today hope you like
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Old 10-30-2008   #2
LoKiWorlD
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Dude, the first peom is amazing...Keep Up the Great Work!!!
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Old 10-30-2008   #3
jyuukai


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they both flow into each other. You should make them one poem...
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Old 10-30-2008   #4
Zieghart
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I Wove It!!!!
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Old 10-30-2008   #5
suigintou
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Jumbled and oddly coordinated as usual, and the typos are still appearing often in your work, although perhaps not as often as they used to.

Rhythm's a mess. It flows well at some times and it's screwed up at others. But you give us no reason to have a messy rhythm, because it looks like you're trying for a continuous one, at least first.

The second one is a lot better than the first, by the way, although it still needs work as well.

Anyway, keep writing. You're improving.
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Old 10-30-2008   #6
leoern
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Default nice job

nice job stan keep writing youre really good at it
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Old 11-02-2008   #7
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pretty cool. have good ideas
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Old 11-02-2008   #8
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Very good poems!!! =D
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Old 11-02-2008   #9
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Such depressing poetry...

Anyway, you get better with every one that you write. Keep it up!
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Old 11-02-2008   #10
meraychan
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oh dat poem looks like me...anyways it's nice...^_^
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life is all about to live and die...
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