A woman is speeding on her way to work. She gets pulled over by a cop who was hiding behind a billboard. The officer asks, "where are you going in such a hurry?" and the woman replies "im late for work, you see im a rectum stretcher." The cop whos baffled by the reply asks "whats a rectum stretcher?" and the woman replies "well first i stick in one finger and loosen up the asshole, then i work in 2 then 3 then 4 until finally i can fit my fist in there. Then i continue to work it open until i can fit both my hands in to stretch it till its about six feet tall." Completely stunned the officer asks "what in the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?" to which the woman replied "give him a radar gun and park him behind a billboard!"
Traffic Ticket:$20
Calling a cop and asshole: Priceless
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What does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me? Into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly because I can't any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the scanners do better, because if the scanner sees only darkly the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again.
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