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Old 10-04-2009   #5
suigintou
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Thanks guys, I really appreciate the feedback.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobadoe View Post
But I am so very, probably, wrong.
Don't worry about being wrong. That's just silly. You take from a story what you will.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wi_sam View Post
You did a great job of ruling out the dialogue.
Yeah I thought I did pretty well in that aspect as well. But I'm not sure I'll keep it that way. In a way, I want the narrator to say something at the end, something scathing to the hunter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koopaking View Post
I think you could play around some more with the language and make it a lot better
Perhaps. But eloquence has no place in this story, I think.
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