Quote:
Originally Posted by analogZero
That could've been complete perversion and not a joke. just a thought.
That chocolate stands out like a white elephant. Draws too much attention, as if everything's centered around it. That's the only constructive and opinionated criticism I can offer. On the other hand, the second totally makes up for any petty judgments I can make about one word in the first. Very nice overall.
thanks
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I take a perversion like that to be a joke.
Yeah, I've admittedly got a bit of an obsession with using "chocolate-covered" as a non-literal descriptive phrase in my poetry like that, and I actually totally agree that it stands out a bit too much.
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