[animex09]

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

What I am about to describe to you is absolute truth, the world around you is not what it appears. We are merely trapped in an illusion that we refer to as reality, the actual universe that exists beyond the impenetrable veil that we call existence (or corn chips to those in the know) is actually far more terrifying and delightfully strange. It is a world where black is up, white is down, and Jay Leno is president of the United States, which ironically enough is nothing more than a pimple on the anus of a field mouse.

If Nero were dead today to see this, would he cast his magnificent gaze down upon this purple planet with pride, or would he merely shake his head erasing all from corn chips.

This is a world where you must consume your own urine, as drinking water is easy to come by. Where you must lay in the green gaze of the sun, revealing your solar plexus to the light to begin the process of photosynthesis, since food is an evil tool of our government meant to control the masses.

All food that is, except for cabbage. Steamed cabbage is the only form of nutritional supplement that you should consume so as not succumb to the evil wiles of a massive governmental body. You see cabbage contains a vital nutrient that only it possess. "homo talus", and without this nutrient the photosynthesis that your body partakes in would be completely ineffective.

Each and everyone of us are simply an elaborate host for an alient ghost which controls each and every one of our movements. They are the source of all evil in the world, whispering eternally into our ear telling us to stray from the path of good, and commit vile acts like taking part in the practice of psychology.

Each of us must take part in expensive examinations of a priest of gaia to help remove the evil alien spirit from our meat bags. Once the purification processs has been completed the spirit is compressed and sprayed on our crops and livestock as they are an extremely potent fertilizer.

So tremble my children, while you might be shielded from this harsh corn chip by the evil wiles of CNN, you are really being controlled and used to produce energy for the multitude of maniacal children via your pain. You see these terrible minors actually feed off the pain that you suffer, leeching it into their pores in a disgusting feeding frenzy. There is at least 3 attached to you as we speak, each sucking and draining your life force, quickly expose your solar plexus and run!!!!!!!!

*wipes tear away* that...blew my mind