lol Cheesey puns I got in an email.
 

Subject: Old Puns







1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.



He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .





3. She was only a whisky maker,

but he loved her still.



4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because

it was a weapon of math disruption.



5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder

and got a little behind in his work.


6. No matter how much you push the envelope,

It will still be stationery.


7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road

and was cited for littering.



8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in

Linoleum Blownapart.


9. Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie.



10. Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.



11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.



12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'


14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me.



15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'



16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.

When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,

a nurse said, 'No change yet.'



17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was

a small medium at large.





20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now

a seasoned veteran.


21. A backward poet writes inverse.



22. In democracy it's your vote that counts.

In feudalism it's your count that votes.



23. When cannibals ate a missionary,

they got a taste of religion.



24. Don't join dangerous cults:

Practice safe sects!

Words cannot express how awesome these are. Thank you so much for sharing them! xD

lol Aww thank you. Make me feel all important like I did something good.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "For you, no charge!"

You better, those actually made me laugh, something that the jokes i've heard lately haven't done.

damn ya, love puns so much. number 10 was my fav I think.

lol, I agree, I like #10! Thanks for sharing XD

number 6 keeps making me laugh too. I found a few others.


Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says, "Dam!"

A will is a dead giveaway.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

http://www.stringsavvy.com/wordpress.../07/shutup.jpg

Today I stepped in a mound of puppy poop!
I thought, "There's a movement afoot."

After the transvestite escaped from prison the only thing the police could tell the press was that she was still a broad.

He had won every award and received every possible accolade: he was simply the best scarecrow ever. He truly was out standing in his field.

If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for us all.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

and my own personal topper (4th, 5th, and 6th post):
http://www.animefuel.com/forum/showt...?t=5321&page=4

Buahaha.... Very nice very nice. Keep the puns rolling. =]

I didn't expect to laugh this much from cheesy jokes. Thanks for posting!