The Alternate Reality List
 

This is somthing I'd like to do for fun. We already know what has happened and how the world works, but what if in an alternate reality it was different? Come up with an insane thing about your alternate reality, for example if everything revolved around the Earth, or if Michale Jackson was still a famous black and not-at-all creepy performer? What if water made you blow up? What if saying the word fish was illegal? Whatever you want and make it as crazy as you can.

What if animals could talk and they enslaved the human race?

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

Something like that may happen.

What I am about to describe to you is absolute truth, the world around you is not what it appears. We are merely trapped in an illusion that we refer to as reality, the actual universe that exists beyond the impenetrable veil that we call existence (or corn chips to those in the know) is actually far more terrifying and delightfully strange. It is a world where black is up, white is down, and Jay Leno is president of the United States, which ironically enough is nothing more than a pimple on the anus of a field mouse.

If Nero were dead today to see this, would he cast his magnificent gaze down upon this purple planet with pride, or would he merely shake his head erasing all from corn chips.

This is a world where you must consume your own urine, as drinking water is easy to come by. Where you must lay in the green gaze of the sun, revealing your solar plexus to the light to begin the process of photosynthesis, since food is an evil tool of our government meant to control the masses.

All food that is, except for cabbage. Steamed cabbage is the only form of nutritional supplement that you should consume so as not succumb to the evil wiles of a massive governmental body. You see cabbage contains a vital nutrient that only it possess. "homo talus", and without this nutrient the photosynthesis that your body partakes in would be completely ineffective.

Each and everyone of us are simply an elaborate host for an alient ghost which controls each and every one of our movements. They are the source of all evil in the world, whispering eternally into our ear telling us to stray from the path of good, and commit vile acts like taking part in the practice of psychology.

Each of us must take part in expensive examinations of a priest of gaia to help remove the evil alien spirit from our meat bags. Once the purification processs has been completed the spirit is compressed and sprayed on our crops and livestock as they are an extremely potent fertilizer.

So tremble my children, while you might be shielded from this harsh corn chip by the evil wiles of CNN, you are really being controlled and used to produce energy for the multitude of maniacal children via your pain. You see these terrible minors actually feed off the pain that you suffer, leeching it into their pores in a disgusting feeding frenzy. There is at least 3 attached to you as we speak, each sucking and draining your life force, quickly expose your solar plexus and run!!!!!!!!

*wipes tear away* that...blew my mind :o.o:

In this reality we are mearly intelligent thought patterns. We have no bodies no personality we are nothing more than thoughts.

What if you were a seeweed? what if you were born un Alaska? what if you were born with permenant paralysis?

What if you have never met me? what if there was no internet? what if this, is the alternative reality?

What if you were a very special individual? whet if time travel exist? what if, taking a photo of a person means taking a part of his soul?

What if you were born in 1079 ?

I can go on forever.....

What if we lived in a world where reality television shows were the most popular things, pop music stars were more well known than great historical figures, more children watched MTV than read books, where materialism was the almighty ruler of society and the economy, where greed and consumption was the norm, and true happiness was never attainable?

Oh hey, would you look at that.

Um, I believe this is a REAL reality. As in it's already in prograss.