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Waste
12-08-2008, 07:57 PM
I remember a time when we
remember a time when we sat alone
like time we chose to reveal our secrets
our sins we could atone.

Like time we chose to reveal our secrets
bringing with them a slowing storm,
a slowing storm with vicious tongue
giving our sins the time to mourn.

A slowing storm with vicious tonugue
a voice that reads like your note,
a daughter whose only chance at love
is lost within an anecdote.

A daughter whose only chance at love
is lost within your storm,
she finds your note and with her voice
through her your sins can mourn.

She finds your note and with her voice
shouting out at me among the crowd,
I begin to remember a time when i
remember a time when to her i bowed.
fejknick
12-08-2008, 10:02 PM
Sweet poem, is it to someone special?
strike7785
12-09-2008, 02:16 PM
ok if Im reading it right. It sound to me like a note was found that shouldn't have been and it has made her very sad. Am I right or do I need to hush.
Holly-Sama
12-09-2008, 06:07 PM
Nice job. I enjoyed this.
Waste
12-09-2008, 08:00 PM
ok if Im reading it right. It sound to me like a note was found that shouldn't have been and it has made her very sad. Am I right or do I need to hush.

Nope, thats not it. :P
BlueSano
12-09-2008, 11:34 PM
NICE!!! waste ..i really enjoyed it... and to me it seems like something was revealed and suddenly caused trouble ... THANK YOU!!!! :D.. you are really great girl..and you kow it ^_6
Nightmare
12-09-2008, 11:38 PM
I thought that was really really good. I wish I was good a poetry, but I'm really clumsy when it comes to stuff like that:weep:. altho I'm pretty good at adventure stores. But I digress, super poem.
spirit
12-10-2008, 03:54 AM
I must say that this is one of the best poems I read here on AF. Especially, I like the rhythm and repetition.
Waste
12-10-2008, 07:27 PM
Hm tyvm spirit.
I wasn;t too sure at first..
well its basically about this girl (the daughter) who cheats on her boyfriend and 'I' find out and tell him and he writes a note to the daughter, at the end she confronts 'me' and puts me in my place. lol. And the repition basically shows that this isnt the first time it has happened.
BuBBl3s
12-16-2008, 12:51 AM
NICE!!! waste ..i really enjoyed it... and to me it seems like something was revealed and suddenly caused trouble ... THANK YOU!!!! :D.. you are really great girl..and you kow it ^_6


lol i agree

(waste is a girl)? <======neva knew dat:oo::o.o: