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BuBBl3s
11-27-2008, 07:00 PM
LIFE!



life is not fair...
it will never be...
no matter how much u dream and hope...
life is not fair...
it will never be...



..i am really bored.dis is kinda a really LAME summary of ma thought at da momment,and i WAS gonna write a more enjoyable poem but,i got to lazy..X.x
so ya i dont blame u for hating it ,..cause well........i do too ....X.x

giovanni r
11-27-2008, 08:06 PM
It's not that bad....

Russkie
11-27-2008, 08:24 PM
It's not that bad....

No, bubbles was right.

Its a lame poem.

Vakarak
11-27-2008, 08:47 PM
"Fair" is whatever God wants it to be... btw is that a poem? Sounds more like an exasperated moan to me however I try to say it. Not really easy on the tongue.

suigintou
11-28-2008, 01:19 AM
Emo poetry is so bland, really. It's fine to write your heart's emotions out, but if you're going to just present them in the voice of of a whiny 10-year-old, it's not going to mean a whole lot to the reader.

Lay off the ellipses and use some better and less cliche-riddled diction.

salmeria
11-28-2008, 01:21 AM
umm it's not bad...but keep it up!! ^_^