I Mean, Come On

[Areku]

"Cut my veins and drown myself in my blood
I'd like to hang but my stool ran away from me
Jumping on the road, cars break and laugh 'cause I'm odd
Seems that death itself don't want such ignominy"

You rant at the world and about how you'll give up
But on your face we can all read "Need Attention"
Talking about it won't change anything, cheer up
You're too busy hating everything with passion

Your heart is bleeding, your heart is black
Your blood is flowing, your blood is black
Your flood is dying, your flood is black
Why the hell everything has to be black?
I'd be ashamed to be the color black

You say no one cares about you, but you hang out in crowds?
Is it just me or something's not making any sense here?
You chant about the day where you'll all be wrapped in your shrouds
If your leader tastes joy it ends up in a mutineer

Instead of trying you lament and moan
Spitting on your friends your depressive pheromones
Sitting in a corner yelling "I cry black tears"
I mean, come on,
Who the hell cries black tears?

[suigintou]

Let's not forget the tendency to try so hard to be nonconformist that one ends up conforming to ways of being a nonconformist. :3

But yeah, these words pretty well echo my opinions on the emo lifestyle. Not so much the look, but the ideology. Typical teenage depression stage...hey, I'll admit I went through it once.

Anyway, nice work. I think I would have appreciated it more if it were in prose rather than lines broken up into stanzas, though. It flows like prose...just doesn't look like it, you know?

[Dolly]

10/10, thank you for posting this.

PS: post number 500 woot

[Areku]

Anyway, nice work. I think I would have appreciated it more if it were in prose rather than lines broken up into stanzas, though. It flows like prose...just doesn't look like it, you know?

Nah, it isn't prose, if you count the syllabes and ways to rhymes in it, each stanzas is different somehow. AND, I was very proud of rhyming in english this time. So yeah.. thanks for the comments folks~

[suigintou]

Nah, it isn't prose, if you count the syllabes and ways to rhymes in it, each stanzas is different somehow. AND, I was very proud of rhyming in english this time. So yeah.. thanks for the comments folks~

Syllable equality doesn't really mean much, at least not for rhythm, but whatever you want to do is fine of course. :3

And, I dunno, to me it just read as if it were prose. I'm sure it's different for everyone.

[AkiTorrien]

10/10
That is fantastic! It is very touching, very moving and very true. The words spoken in this poem is what people go threw and what come can relate to.

[Tovarishch]

Well done. This makes a lot of sense to me... You put into words what I could not.
It reminds me of a cartoon I was once shown...
Here it is:
http://www.savagechickens.com/2006/04/protest-rally.html
-Tovarishch

[jyuukai]

Seems very emo... I like it

[Areku]

Seems very emo... I like it

Well yeah.. it's a satire against emo.

[Holly-Sama]

Bravo! Bravo! Probably my favorite poem yet.

[suigintou]

Seems very emo... I like it

I think you kind of missed the point, but oh well.