A poem for thoughtful people

[mellowguy]

Felt like posting a poem, might post more sometime here. All the people in creative writing here seem like people I would like to review my poem, so...

For Want of Intellect

Forthwith, I hereby declare,
nonetheless, We must admire,
incursions of the highest plateau to be met with considerable condemnation
by the small nocturnal communities of the owls.
In that they must feed off the flesh of the speaking, and not the flesh of
the silent
The silent live, the living die.

Why is anger so similar to the owls beaks?
They aren't both made of nails
Anger doesn't eat the heart of philosophers
An owl opens it's beak to cry out.
Crack in the beak, crack in the anger. Allows for discharge of hollow noises
It's cupcake time for the owl and I.
We have a day set aside for it
Open it's beak to eat something tasty and poisonous.

[KiriJolith]

Wow, very nice work! Very creative and it makes some sense if you think about it.

[suigintou]

I like this piece a lot. The strange juxtaposition and slightly archaic (at least compared to casual speaking) language work wonders for the subject matter of owls. There's a few typos here and there, but nothing disastrous. I also find it a bit clunky to say "the silent" immediately after saying it in a different phrase beforehand. Repetition has its uses, but it seems rough here.

Those are just minor nitpickings though...this really is a cool piece. I hope you'll be submitting more.

[soulten]

I found the cupcake part a little random. But that was very good. The language use fit it very well, seems very deep. But it made my brain tingle, so good job.

[meraychan]

nice one...keep it up...^_^

[kuristar]

nice piece ^_^