..:::[ Wh♠t is it Considered ChƏat!ng? ]:::..

[spirit]

This thread is in reference to my first thread regarding Cheating & Cheaters (http://www.animefuel.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6560).
After submitting my other thread... I've observed your reactions and comments, and noticed that some of you were asking me questions like "well, it depends on what do you mean by cheating."
Nevertheless, it is up to you and your own belief what do you consider to be cheating and what not. I would like to spend this thread strictly on discussing cheating in relationships. Personally, I feel cheating isn't one of those evident matters that are always unequivocally explainable. Each of us is developing, through out the years and different experiences, an individual "book of rules;" in other words "a moral code" of our own values, beliefs, personal judgment of what is good and evil. Therefore, something considered as an act of cheating might differ in everyone's po!nt of v!ew. When it comes to couples and relationships, there are also some disagreements: when does one cross the line?
What does it mean to cheat on your girlfriend or boyfriend (parter)?
Can we legibly distinguish those barriers? I assume, most of you would say that any sexual relations with someone other than your lover would be considered as cheating, right? If anyone has a different belief then I would be glad if they care to share it with us. How many of you believe that there are things, other than having sex, considered cheating? What if your gf/bf had a lunch with someone else? Or went for a walk? (et cetera)
Moreover, is hugging or kissing other that your partner considered to be cheating? What if someone has kissed other person in a "spur-of-the-moment?" Or what if they've done it under a drug's or alcohol influence?
How about emotions? What if you are in a mutual loving relationship but you have also some feeling towards someone else (but at the same time, you have never "done" anything with the other person)?
Cheating is when your partner doesn't know that you are cheating. But what if your partner knows that you are in love with someone else - because you told them - is that still considered as cheating?
And one of the things that bothers me the most. The internet. What about having conversations with people other than your partner via the internet? Where is the line? Is it OK to have friends online? Is having an innocent flirtation considered to be cheating? or maybe something called.... "cyber-sex?"
And lastly. I have noticed that some guys are fine with their girlfriends having an intimate relationship with other female(s). They are not bothered by it, however excited. What's up with that?

Dependently, on who you are some people tend to cheat continuously without having any regrets. It might happen to anyone. Either one can become a cheater or the victim. If anyone had ever cheated on you - would you ponder over eventual forgiveness?? I wonder how many of you would be strong enough to forgive and decide to stay together.

Ok. Now, I am letting you share your opinions. Surpr!se me. xD

~ sp!r!t

[Dolly]

Well, I speak at a disadvantage because of my age, so I can't say I've dealt with a few of the "Cheating" situations.

Before I continue...Yes, I'm aware couples my age have been known to drink and regularly have sex, but it isn't something I'd bother with, so I'll go ahead and exempt those from the opinion.

In the unnoticeable way, I feel that cheating begins when someone's feeling for their boyfriend/girlfriend wife/husband etc. begins to stray to other interests. Of course, mind reading is impossible (Please don't argue with me on that now) and even the "cheater" can't really know. It's called confliction for a reason.

Call me a stickler in a relationship because of it, but I take the sort of thing quite seriously.

Now, as far as me thinking its gotten to the point of "cheating" is difficult for me to note. I'd like to say I'm careful with dating so a breakup is rarely about cheating. But all of this aside, I'm actually pretty lenient.

If I saw my girlfriend having lunch with another guy, I wouldn't really worry about it. Hell, in my family, it's pretty normal for people to kiss each other (cheek-cheek), so the thing never really bothered me either outside my family, I just think of it as a more expressive hug.

When do I think it's cheating? Well, I suppose I haven't gotten to cheating yet. If she tells me she's with another guy now, I just call it a break-up.

[Kenshy]

This thread is in reference to my first thread regarding Cheating & Cheaters (http://www.animefuel.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6560).
After submitting my other thread... I've observed your reactions and comments, and noticed that some of you were asking me questions like "well, it depends on what do you mean by cheating."
Nevertheless, it is up to you and your own belief what do you consider to be cheating and what not. I would like to spend this thread strictly on discussing cheating in relationships. Personally, I feel cheating isn't one of those evident matters that are always unequivocally explainable. Each of us is developing, through out the years and different experiences, an individual "book of rules;" in other words "a moral code" of our own values, beliefs, personal judgment of what is good and evil. Therefore, something considered as an act of cheating might differ in everyone's po!nt of v!ew. When it comes to couples and relationships, there are also some disagreements: when does one cross the line?
What does it mean to cheat on your girlfriend or boyfriend (parter)?
Can we legibly distinguish those barriers? I assume, most of you would say that any sexual relations with someone other than your lover would be considered as cheating, right? If anyone has a different belief then I would be glad if they care to share it with us. How many of you believe that there are things, other than having sex, considered cheating? What if your gf/bf had a lunch with someone else? Or went for a walk? (et cetera)
Moreover, is hugging or kissing other that your partner considered to be cheating? What if someone has kissed other person in a "spur-of-the-moment?" Or what if they've done it under a drug's or alcohol influence?
How about emotions? What if you are in a mutual loving relationship but you have also some feeling towards someone else (but at the same time, you have never "done" anything with the other person)?
Cheating is when your partner doesn't know that you are cheating. But what if your partner knows that you are in love with someone else - because you told them - is that still considered as cheating?
And one of the things that bothers me the most. The internet. What about having conversations with people other than your partner via the internet? Where is the line? Is it OK to have friends online? Is having an innocent flirtation considered to be cheating? or maybe something called.... "cyber-sex?"
And lastly. I have noticed that some guys are fine with their girlfriends having an intimate relationship with other female(s). They are not bothered by it, however excited. What's up with that?

Dependently, on who you are some people tend to cheat continuously without having any regrets. It might happen to anyone. Either one can become a cheater or the victim. If anyone had ever cheated on you - would you ponder over eventual forgiveness?? I wonder how many of you would be strong enough to forgive and decide to stay together.

Ok. Now, I am letting you share your opinions. Surpr!se me. xD

~ sp!r!t

Redundancy.

If you have a relationship and you won't let your partner see, engage in physical acts of friendship, or talk to other people, then that relationship is doomed. From what I know, all relationships work because of trust, it's the primary foundation of love, if you will. But that's from what I know, and I'm sure you kids have different interpretations of 'cheating', and 'relationships'.

Closing note: fail at l337 speak.

[AyumiBee]

I would consider even a kiss cheating, but to hung out with male friends is not cheating. And openly flirting with others is cheating in my opinion too.

[spirit]

Redundancy.

If you have a relationship and you won't let your partner see, engage in physical acts of friendship, or talk to other people, then that relationship is doomed. From what I know, all relationships work because of trust, it's the primary foundation of love, if you will. But that's from what I know, and I'm sure you kids have different interpretations of 'cheating', and 'relationships'.

Closing note: fail at l337 speak.
* Why do you always have to pick on people even if you do not have any arguments? Instead of focusing on merit of the case you prefer to pay attention to inessential nuances.

** I have no problem with someone teaching me proper English grammar and punctuation but before you decide to correct anyone, please start from yourself.. since you blunder, too.
*** For your information, it is a commonly used phraseological collocation.

[Koopaking]

It's up for the people in the couple to decide what they consider as cheating.

[spirit]

It's up for the people in the couple to decide what they consider as cheating.
Yes, of course... but I want your opinion to be placed here. Who cares of some unknown couples? What is it to you, K.?

[Kenshy]

* Why do you always have to pick on people even if you do not have any arguments? Instead of focusing on merit of the case you prefer to pay attention to inessential .

** I have no problem with someone teaching me proper English grammar and punctuation but before you decide to correct anyone, please start from yourself.. since you blunder, too.
*** For your information, it is a commonly used phraseological collocation.
So it's a commonly used phraseogical collocation? Just like "nuclear family", "crystal clear", et cetera. I can bet all my money that almost nobody on this forum has heard such a phrase. Anyway, it's still a redundant phrase, a fact that you cannot deny. You make more punctuational mistakes than me, so maybe you should have listened more when you were in school?

http://www.giddylimits.co.uk/over_50s_work/Open_University_OpenLearn.html

[carolyn07]

...i think its considered cheating when your not being honest to a person or even yourself!,.♥

[spirit]

So it's a commonly used phraseogical collocation? Just like "nuclear family", "crystal clear", et cetera. I can bet all my money that almost nobody on this forum has heard such a phrase. Anyway, it's still a redundant phrase, a fact that you cannot deny. You make more punctuational mistakes than me, so maybe you should have listened more when you were in school?

http://www.giddylimits.co.uk/over_50s_work/Open_University_OpenLearn.html
Nahh. You talk nonsense. And how dare you tell me I make more punctuational mistakes, if you don't even know where to place commas and quotation marks! *stares blindly* You continue to write it your "own way," trying to convince everyone around that it's correct. Stop acting like you are some "omnibus," which evidently you are not. If you are so hard to convince then why don't you search this phrase in google, it would be easiest way for you to see, since you think you always know "better." Like I said before, I don't mind anyone teaching me some proper grammar, but first you need to represent an immaculate example. If you were, then you would instantly recognize a literary hyperbola, being often used in literary works. (<-- look it up in a decent dictionary ;)) That's my writing style. You may not like it but don't question it.
Plus, try to keep it on the topic. I am tired of you picking on people.



Cheating.
Forgiveness takes more strengths to overcome the pain rather than telling someone to leave.
This is my opinion.
Argue, if you think differently.

[strike7785]

This is what cheating means to me. Its an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition with the person your with

[Kham]

Cheating in a video game is a process whereby a player of a video game creates an advantage beyond the bounds of normal gameplay, usually to make the game easier. THATS cheating.

[spirit]

Cheating in a video game is a process whereby a player of a video game creates an advantage beyond the bounds of normal gameplay, usually to make the game easier. THATS cheating.
Um, in a video game?? Eghmmm, this topic is about cheating in relationships, only. :F



Does anyone know any stories/examples of situations when someone cheated on other people? I know plenty.

[leerock89]

I share my love with anyone and everyone. If someone can't handle it then to bad!! GTFO of my life, I don't need someone to tell me who I can or cannot see, hear, touch, smell or taste.

[spirit]

I share my love with anyone and everyone. If someone can't handle it then to bad!! GTFO of my life, I don't need someone to tell me who I can or cannot see, hear, touch, smell or taste.*smiles at leerock* ahh, what can I say?...
just... eazy... breazy.... beautiful..... you and your concept of a good relationship :P


You know I wish that was so simple. ;)

[leerock89]

LOL! You know I think we had this convo before... you know my stance on this...

[spirit]

LOL! You know I think we had this convo before... you know my stance on this...We did. And that's why I wanted to ask our little "audience" to share their opinions : P



Though, I should probably reply to some of the posts. Some of which sound pretty hmmm "stormy" (?) :P since few think (Dolly) that I am being pessimistic or negative, whereas it is the opposite :)
To make it all clear, I am not trying to promote cheating (haha). First of all, I was provoking you guys to make you share your view :))
I just believe cheating is an inseparable part of everyone's life, despiting the fact if someone likes it or not. Another correction: from my own ethical point of view, I don't feel that cheating should be laudable. However, it can't be firmly reviled because then we would have to focus our lives on invigilating and reproaching each other.
It is not true that educational system, schools, teachers, banks, government system, politics, businessmen (and so on) are being strict about the law, rules and following them. A lot those people, on high respectable positions, have been cheating through out their lives to look "trustworthy" in our eyes in order to be able building their careers. Certainly, not all of them, but majority.
A student cheating on math test is a "trifle" comparing to the real-world cheaters. It is more of a joke to tell stories about cheating in video games or this sort of things.

[Viduus]

Personally I think that if I'm with someone and they would rather do something with someone else on a repeated basis, that's pretty much cheating. I'm not saying that people need to be with their significant others 24/7, but if you obviously want to hang out with someone else, then don't waste my time and break it off. It's especially cheating if this is being hidden.

We also have to realize that relationships and cheating may change the older one gets. High School relationships tend to be fickle and short, and things you're able to get away with there you may not be able to get away with later on in life.

Thankfully I haven't been cheated on (which is not to say all my relationships have ended gracefully) so I can't really draw from personal experience, but that's my general thought on it.

[blackfob]

to me cheating is
any type of sexual type touching is cheating
i.e. kissing and
haha the bang bang

but how do some of you feel about the couples saying their other half is
cheating just by having a online dirty conversation??
is this still cheating???
or just some cyber chat?

[Dolly]

We did. And that's why I wanted to ask our little "audience" to share their opinions : P



Though, I should probably reply to some of the posts. Some of which sound pretty hmmm "stormy" (?) :P since few think (Dolly) that I am being pessimistic or negative, whereas it is the opposite :)
To make it all clear, I am not trying to promote cheating (haha). First of all, I was provoking you guys to make you share your view :))
I just believe cheating is an inseparable part of everyone's life, despiting the fact if someone likes it or not. Another correction: from my own ethical point of view, I don't feel that cheating should be laudable. However, it can't be firmly reviled because then we would have to focus our lives on invigilating and reproaching each other.
It is not true that educational system, schools, teachers, banks, government system, politics, businessmen (and so on) are being strict about the law, rules and following them. A lot those people, on high respectable positions, have been cheating through out their lives to look "trustworthy" in our eyes in order to be able building their careers. Certainly, not all of them, but majority.
A student cheating on math test is a "trifle" comparing to the real-world cheaters. It is more of a joke to tell stories about cheating in video games or this sort of things.


Gah, it took me too long to realize you replied to my post on another thread on here. And if I sounded stormy, it's because I was. I'm taking that you think me a pretty simple person.

But in any case, you simply can't say that it is not true. It's statistically impossible to say that, really, even a majority. But I know when something changes from a discussion to a simple matter of conflicting opinions.

(Like you said, we're sharing our views). And while I'm not saying you "do" promote cheating, I'm simply discussing our ways of looking at it. I would hope that much would be permissible in the thread.

[bluedragon]

i think when two couples loses confidence and trust with each other.

[Axe Man]

I really think that cheating is showing any kind of affection (in a romantic way. things such as kissing or even just certain kinds of touching) for another person other then your partner, boy or girlfriend and so on. but that's just what i think.

[Kham]

Um, in a video game?? Eghmmm, this topic is about cheating in relationships, only. :F
Oh :scaried:okay ::D:

[analogZero]

Redundancy.

If you have a relationship, and you won't let your partner see, engage in physical acts of friendship (elaborate), or talk to other people, then that relationship is doomed. From what I know, all relationships work because of trust, it's the primary foundation of love, if you will. But that's from what I know, and I'm sure you kids have different interpretations of 'cheating', and 'relationships'.

Closing note: fail at l337 speak.

So it's a commonly used phraseological collocation? Just like "nuclear family", "crystal clear", et cetera. I can bet all my money that almost nobody on this forum has heard such a phrase. Anyway, it's still a redundant phrase, a fact that you cannot deny. You make more punctuational mistakes than me, so maybe you should have listened more when you were in school?(perhaps best posed in the form of a statement)

http://www.giddylimits.co.uk/over_50s_work/Open_University_OpenLearn.html

not bad for a first draft.

[Shooterman]

Short & Sweet

Cheating is doing anything that could be considered romantic, sexual, etc. with anyone while you are currently in a realtionship.

[abcman]

it all comes down to what kind of relationship you have. Society has gotten to the point that it want to waste everything. I had a lady tell me that "kids are so fast now a days. When I was younger you would go on a date with someone you liked but not just up and date them" and that made alot of sense to me. We've gotten to the point that you now have to begin a RELATIONSHIP with someone to find out if you like them not. You pretty much are bf and gf not know much more than each others names. Which is why I think alot of the older couples last because they know each others well enough to know if they can put up with them. But thats another topic for later anyway I guess anything now a thing is considered cheating

[Mugen]

not bad for a first draft.Uhm..there is nothing wrong with them commas lol

[analogZero]

first one necessary, second two debate away.
point being: there's no point in raggin' on grammar in a forum...it's a forum for chrissakes, not a place to get an english degree.

ps. I'm waiting on a check for all kenshy's money for correcting phraseological.

[abcman]

first one necessary, second two debate away.
point being: there's no point in raggin' on grammar in a forum...it's a forum for chrissakes, not a place to get an english degree.

ps. I'm waiting on a check for all kenshy's money for correcting phraseological.

good point though it makes it easier to read if your not typing like your drunk >_>

[analogZero]

good point though it makes it easier to read if your not typing like your drunk >_>

very true, but some folk here don't speak english as their first language, some are still a little young to have their vocab down pat, and some just make mistakes. who seriously does multiple proofreads of what they type here?
A lot of people get uppity about it, I know. I only threw that out here cuz kenshy just jumped into the mix and started stabbing away without giving any form of attention to the topic. just seemed a little out of bounds, so I hope you didn't tear away any offence there, Kenshy ;) you're not the only one who's done it, so it's not personal, kid. just ask monsoon about double posts and you'll catch my drift. though I'm responsible for many of those double posts...on purpose...haha.

[Felix42]

You're cheating when you're doing something that involves feelings with others than your partner, or when you're doing something you've agreed not too. Thats why its different between people, and couples.

I could kiss a girl at a party, and it wouldn't mean a thing, and i would only consider it cheating if my girlfriend did. I would have nothing against my girlfriend kissing with someone else, if i knew it didn't matter to her either.

With that said i would consider it an unspoken agreement, that kissing and serious flirting would be cheating, if nothing else have been decided.

[Snoopy]

cheating to me is having sex or pashing another person nothing more nothing less

[meraychan]

cheating is wen ur partner have another girl/boy and she/he didn't tell u about it...also if dat person have sexual relationship wd another girl/boy...flirting can also be included...^_^

[VampireCat]

I have been with my "Other Half" since 16th Feb 2003 and one of the first things we spoke about when we became a couple was our boundaries, and granted they have changed over the years but there are set things that haven't.

1. No sexual relationship with another person, be it boy or girl (Im Bisexual). That includes having sex, pleasuring each other in a sexual way and phone/e-mail sex. These, to me and my partner, are considered cheating.

2. No Kissing, be it with tongs or with out. I can kiss my friends on the head or cheek but nothing more and I am ok with that (I am a very motherly person so I cuddle my friends alot!). Despite the fact that my partner is ok with me kissing other girls, provided I have no feelings for them, as he calls me a "playful" person, I don't! I think that even that is cheating.

3. Flirting in any way shape or form with somebody. Neither of us would would flirt with another person, we view that as cheating as well.

4. No relationships on the side, or ditching each other to go visit somebody one of us might find "Hot".

We also have a tenancy to discus with each other who we think is "good looking". The way we see it is this: Just because you think a person is good looking doesn't mean you have feelings for them. I helps us, in a weird way, to understand one another.