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Ariya
06-30-2008, 01:18 PM
Your words are something more
Than I can comprehend
It's all because of you
That my choice is at its end

You say you love me so
Still, yet you tend to hide
I'm lost by your repressed choices.
Is it your unsolved pride?

At last my dearest lover,
I've found your blossoming secret
And though it may be tempting
I swear to you I'll keep it
Ryuuzaki
06-30-2008, 01:37 PM
That's really good, great job. 8D
Ariya
06-30-2008, 01:43 PM
Thanks :D Glad you liked it.
Shigami
06-30-2008, 02:08 PM
I'm not really into poetry but i think you done a great job
Ariya
06-30-2008, 02:14 PM
Why thank you 8D
SinXxX
06-30-2008, 02:19 PM
The poem feels like its thoughts are accelerating. I like how it was structure/made like that.
Mugen
06-30-2008, 02:33 PM
Did you just make it up for no reason, or has something in your life influenced you to do a great poem like this? :)
Ariya
06-30-2008, 02:44 PM
Poems just come to me. :3 I wanted to write something, and this was the outcome. Most of the time, my mood will affect the poem I write, like if I'm sad, it'll be depressing, etc.

I'm really glad you liked it though. 8D You can read my other poems on here. They're all though this section.
Jello
06-30-2008, 02:49 PM
im not much of a fan of poetry, but dang, you did a good job! when you say that it just comes to you, do you mean off the top of your head?
Ariya
06-30-2008, 02:59 PM
Yes. :3 If I want to write, something just pops into my head and I put it on paper and try as best as I can to make it just as good as the initial thought.

Thank you, though. n___n
RzXzB
06-30-2008, 03:51 PM
I like it keep up the good work and post more
monsoon 10
06-30-2008, 03:57 PM
Your words are something more
Than I can comprehend
It's all because of you
That my choice is at its end

You say you love me so
Still, yet you tend to hide
I'm lost by your repressed choices.
Is it your unsolved pride?

At last my dearest lover,
I've found your blossoming secret
And though it may be tempting
I swear to you I'll keep it

I would change unsolved with restless.

I felt the transition to this part of the poem was awkward and unnecessarily fast.

But other than that it was fine.
Mugen
06-30-2008, 05:53 PM
Poems just come to me. :3 I wanted to write something, and this was the outcome. Most of the time, my mood will affect the poem I write, like if I'm sad, it'll be depressing, etc.

I'm really glad you liked it though. 8D You can read my other poems on here. They're all though this section.
I shall look forward to seeing more of your creative poems. :cute: