Jokes

[Gerbil-Man]

ok if anyone has any jokes that they think are funny type in here please...





Ok, so there are two guys in a two story bar (who the hell builds a 2 story bar???) than one drinks a shot of tequila than jumps out the window and then runs back up, than the other man asks "woah how did you do that?" the man replied "oh i just drank THIS MAGIC TEQUILA!" "SWEET" so the other man drinks, jumps, than falls to his death than the bartender said to the man " superman your a jerk"

[leerock89]

huh..

Viagra Joke

Woman: Can I get Viagra here?

Pharmacist: Yes.

Woman: Can I get it over the counter?

Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can

[Gerbil-Man]

hehe very nice

[Mugen]

A blonde walks into a bar!

Sorry, my friend ALWAYS says that to me. So I guess each time he said it, it erased a joke from my memory. >.<

[Koopaking]

Ok this is a good one.

A priest, a shaman, and a rabbi walk into a bar. But there's no shaman or rabbi, just a priest. And the priest isn't walking into a bar he's walking into my eighth birthday party. And he's molesting me. And he's not a priest, he's my father. My father molested me at my eighth birthday party.

[Raven]

Wow koopa, that really shouldn't be funny :)

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a drink?". Descartes says, "I think not." and disappears.

A man finds a genie who agrees to grant him one wish:
Man: I hate airplanes so I wish there was a bridge to Hawaii!
Genie: That's quite a wish, and a very difficult one at that... Is there any way you could choose something else?
Man: Hmmm... I wish I could understand women!
Genie: Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?

[partyprobe]

Ok this is a good one.

A priest, a shaman, and a rabbi walk into a bar. But there's no shaman or rabbi, just a priest. And the priest isn't walking into a bar he's walking into my eighth birthday party. And he's molesting me. And he's not a priest, he's my father. My father molested me at my eighth birthday party.

I saw that video its so f***ing funny. I think its called knock knock on youtube

[Koopaking]

Wow koopa, that really shouldn't be funny :)


It's called Dark Humor mwahahahahaha

[kitty-kat]

i not really good at this stuff but here goes...A woman goes to the doctor and says "doc me husband is having a problem keeping it up can you help us?" So the doctor proscribes her some Viagra."Here just slip one in his desert and you should be fine with the results!" so that night she slips one in his cobbler and that night was amazing.So she thinks to herself "If i can get this with one i wonder what i can get with two?" So the next night she slips in two. That night is even better then the night before. So she says to herself,"If i can get this with two, i wonder..." So its been a week sense the doctor has heard from the wife so he decides to call the house.The phone rings for a while then i picked up."Hello can i spake to the woman of the house?" "I'm afraid thats not possible sir."says the voice on the other end. "Well why not?" "Well sir the wife is dead!" So the doctor ask to speak with anyone who might be there "That is quite impossible sir. The daughter is pregnant, the son has a sore ass, the dogs can't walk, and the husband is running around the back yard,stark naked and stiff as a stick yelling "Here kitty,kitty,kitty,kitty,kitty!!!"

[partyprobe]

i went to the doctor and he touched me end of story

[Koopaking]

Ok there's this tree in the middle of this field. This tree is all alone in the field, no other trees as far as he can see. The tree gets lonely after a while. "I wish I had some other tree friends here... I wish I wasn't so lonely..."

So the tree kills himself.

[partyprobe]

Ok there's this tree in the middle of this field. This tree is all alone in the field, no other trees as far as he can see. The tree gets lonely after a while. "I wish I had some other tree friends here... I wish I wasn't so lonely..."

So the tree kills himself.

OMG where do you come up with this stuff its so funny

[Gerbil-Man]

ok so Karl Rove started doing stand-up later when he got of th stage i asked him "hey is your act funny?" he replied "i thought so then again im predjiduce"



Chuck Norris can slam a revolving Door

To prove a point Chuck Norris smaoked 30 packs of cigerettes everyday for a month, when he finnaly got cancer he flexed all of his muscles for 30 minuets and was cured, beat that lance armstrong

[animex09]

wanna hear a dirty joke?
the dog fell in the mud. FIN

[deathkeepe]

Two students are doing a report on how high a frog can jump with a certain amount of legs. They grab scissors, measuring stick, a frog, a pencil and paper. They go to they forest and sat the frog down. They said jump frog jump. The frog jumped and they measured 4 feet. They cut off a leg and said jump frog jump. They measured 3 feet. Another leg. 2 feet. Another leg. 1 foot. Another leg. They said jump frog jump. Nothing happened. They tried again. Nothing happened. Then they wrote on the paper "With no legs frog turns deaf". lol send me a message if you liked it

[animex09]

there was a crime in the duckpond so the duck cops where investigating. three duck suspects. cop asks virst ducksuspect "what were you doin saturday night?" duk says "blowing buubles. he askes socond duk "what were you doin saturday night?" duk says "blowing buubles. he askes third duk "what were you doin saturday night, lemme guess, blowing buubles" duk "no, i am buubles"

hope you guys got it

[tripletres]

heres 1
I have CDO. It's like OCD only the letters are in alphabetical order, like they're sopposed to be.

[sousuke]

i kinda forgot the jk so its different from the original
a black goes to his friends house an tells them his baby boy was born
his friend ask how much does he weigh
the father said 15 pounds
friend says wow thats alot
4 days later he went back to his friends house
his friend asked how much does the baby weigh now? the father said 10 pounds
friend says wtf what happened
an the father says i got him circumcised

[monsoon 10]

Chuck Norris said a joke to Chuck Norris once. Chuck Norris didn't laugh because Chuck Norris jokes aren't all that funny.

[sleeper101]

This lady had a Digestive track problem and went to the doctor.The doctor asked what is your daliy routine. The lady said well I get up a 7:00 and make breakfest for my family and at 8:15 I take a crap. Ok th doctor said well lets take a C.A.T scan and see what your problem is. When the doctor came back he said you've got three worms we need to operate. The first worm says here that and the second says ya but are we going to do about it. The third one says i dont know. then the first one says im going to hide behide the heart and the second one says im going to hide behide the liver and the third one says I dont know about you guys but i'm taking the next 8:15 out of here.

[Shigami]

I'm killing ur jokes!

I'm the joke hitler

[Russkie]

An Army Sergeant is sitting at a bar wearing a shirt that says "Marines suck".

Sure enough, two marines walk up.

One of the Marines says, "WHAT DOES THAT SHIRT SAY!?!?!?!"

So the Sergeant responds, "thats the first thing I hate about Marines, they cant read."

The other Marine growles, "What did you say!?!"

The Sergeant responds, "Thats the second thing I hate about Marines, they cant hear."

Then the first Marine demands that they take this outside.

Two minutes later the Sergeant walks back into the bar unharmed. The bartender askes what happened to the two Marines.

The Sergeant responds, "Thats the third thing I hate about Marines, they bring knives to gunfights."

[spirit]

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f55/malomeat/1176077848679.gif

[monsoon 10]

That isn't a joke.

[Klard]

Two;One to screw the bulb in and the other to complain that he's not doing it right.

[sparkrose]

for some reason klard seems to be at the end of alot of post..... no offense
anyways heres a joke


yo momma so stinky
when me and my 10 friends
were banging her last night
she got high on her own dam self

[tripletres]

A blond, brunet, and red-head are on a road trip together. they need to go to the restroom, so they stop at a local diner. they ask the waitress if there's a bathroom they could use, and the waitress said "ya, sure. but be careful of the mirror in the girls room. if you look into it and tell a truth, you'll get one million dollars. but if you look into it and tell a lie, you'll be sucked into the mirror and lost forever."
So the red-head goes in first, she looks in the mirror and says "I think... im pretty." and she gets one million dollars.
The brunet goes in next and she looks in the mirror and says "I think... im smart." and she gets one million dollars.
Then the blond goes in. She looks in the mirror and says "I think-" and she was sucked into the mirror forever.