Dont laugh :P

[Rock]

since my english is really bad, im really crappy at building proper sentences so dont flame me heh, ill just share this one to see what happens :D

cut my wings
take my dreams
kill my soul

now i can't see
can't speak anymore
can't hear anything

now i'm lost
my emotions are gone
now my soul is empty

without feelnigs
without memories
i got nothing left,,

i'm in a daze
i'm dreaming
is this true?

am i lost?,,,
am i gone?,,,
am i dead?,,,

i don't know
the answer anymore
i don't know anything

i want to die now,fall away
want to kill myself,want to
stop my pointless life

no point to live any longer
sooner or later i will die
so now or later,whatever..


and no im not going to kill myself ^_^

[archangle]

title fixed

and this is good considering that u have trouble with english

[Rock]

Hehe thanks :D I hope some other ppls wil comment it as well, i know its not masterpiece or anything i just wanna see if there any point to continune writing^_^

[DocHack]

not bad at all, i like it

[Ryuuzaki]

Nice, I enjoyed it great job Rock!

[Rock]

O.o^^ thanks guys, glad sum ppls like it, it means ill keep writing..when im in on right mood ofc :D

[Ariya]

It's so hard for me to hold back negative comments. ;>_> I'm a grammar nazi, so that's my problem. lol Just work on your English, and you'll get even better. Try reading some of the poems that I've written on here to use as examples if you ever need help. :3

All-in-all, it's pretty good. Dark, sadistic, horrific poetry is always my favorite to write.

[Rock]

haha nps Ariya i understand im not good at english im aware of that :P
anyways ill read sum of yar work tomo, i let ya know about it.
and i guess that last sentence was smth good so thanks for it ^_^

[analogZero]

there's always room for purpose in creative practice, regardless of whether you're the best writer in the world or run of the mill. If you take pleasure in your writing and find it worthwhile then keep it up. I'd say you've got a good grasp on your writing, especially for not being an english whiz.

[leerock89]

nicely depressing man.

[Rock]

Hehe Really thanks for ur kind post analogZero:D
and i will keep writing stuff. when im on right mood again that is :P

Edited: ty leerock aswell^^

[partyprobe]

WOW that was amazingly depressing i loved it alot

[Shigami]

Well since i can't really lie,didn't enjoyed it that much,it was kind of random in my opinion.But practice makes perfect and if you keep writing you'll get better!!Looking forward to you're next works though ;)

[monsoon 10]

since my english is really bad, im really crappy at building proper sentences so dont flame me heh,

This is not a flame so much as a joke.

What is love
Oh baby, don't flame me
Don't flame me no more
Oh, baby don't flame me
Don't flame me no more

[Rock]

O.o sum1 posted here^^ hehe thanks for coments, and no, i did not expected all ppls giving me 10/10 thats just plain stupid, and lot ppls said i should continune to write, and i will, just dont have time right now. well-when i will feel like it, ill post some more :P

P.S. and Moonsoon 10: soz i didnt get yar flame/joke :D

[Ryuuzaki]

O.o sum1 posted here^^ hehe thanks for coments, and no, i did not expected all ppls giving me 10/10 thats just plain stupid, and lot ppls said i should continune to write, and i will, just dont have time right now. well-when i will feel like it, ill post some more :P

P.S. and Moonsoon 10: soz i didnt get yar flame/joke :D

lol Actually I found his joke quite funny. It's a remix of the song "What is Love" by Haddaway (I think thats how ya spell it). He just changed the lyrics some. xD

[suune]

It's great! Well done!

[monsoon 10]

O.o sum1 posted here^^ hehe thanks for coments, and no, i did not expected all ppls giving me 10/10 thats just plain stupid, and lot ppls said i should continune to write, and i will, just dont have time right now. well-when i will feel like it, ill post some more :P

P.S. and Moonsoon 10: soz i didnt get yar flame/joke :D

I spit on you.

[strike7785]

It's so hard for me to hold back negative comments. ;>_> I'm a grammar nazi, so that's my problem. lol Just work on your English, and you'll get even better. Try reading some of the poems that I've written on here to use as examples if you ever need help. :3

All-in-all, it's pretty good. Dark, sadistic, horrific poetry is always my favorite to write.

Well dang you just had to spoil the fun now didn't you. Anyways she is right though its good to have someone comment the negatives so you will get better in the future. Other than that great job rock!!

[kanama k.]

nice acutally i really like it its really good hmmm yup good

[RzXzB]

Why would I laugh I like it

[sleeper101]

Thats was good I liked it keep writing it will get better.