i have a HUGE problem

[inuaudi101]

Hello af community...i need sum help, im dating Joseph Trevinio and i luv him 2 death but...He lives in the northside and i live in the southside...im all alone here, so my friend Scott asked me out and hates to c me alone and stuff, idk what 2 do!!!I dont wana cheat on him, but i dont know who to choose?! Joseph is so sweet he tells me that he luvs me, but Scott is a crazy man and i like those bad boy types!!! for the people that do know me- can u help me!!!:oo:!!!

[BobCat]

I think my view is summarized as follows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKHRFxtInKc

[AkiTorrien]

Don't cheat on your boyfriend. Call your boyfriend up. Talk to your boyfriend.

[SkY93]

Personally, i think you should dtay faithful...Go see him even if for a sec and see if he changed...Cause all that space and time can change a man, mean while just keep the other guy as a good friend.. just watch the situations you put yourself in or get set up for....

[inuaudi101]

Ok, but he's so sensitiive how do i tell him without him being sad, and he's been hurt so much...i promised him that i'd never do anything to hurt him!!!

[SkY93]

dont hurt him........ there are ways to do things and guys dont admit it, but we are sensitive when it comes to this stuff.....so just be honest and tell him whats going on

[quietchat]

First off, why the hell did you decide to tell us his whole name?

Second, the issue itself. Unless you are totally certain that you should leave your current boyfriend, stay with him. But also tell him that you're starting to feel for another person and try to work out the relationship with him to help decide on wether or not you still want to be with him.

[Zero Ichi]

Hello af community...i need sum help, im dating Joseph Trevinio and i luv him 2 death but...He lives in the northside and i live in the southside...im all alone here, so my friend Scott asked me out and hates to c me alone and stuff, idk what 2 do!!!I dont wana cheat on him, but i dont know who to choose?! Joseph is so sweet he tells me that he luvs me, but Scott is a crazy man and i like those bad boy types!!! for the people that do know me- can u help me!!!:oo:!!!

why even ask the question if you said that?!
im getting the feeling you dont really know the meaning of love and thats disgusting!!!!!!!!!
sorry if that sounded harsh but come on!!!

[suigintou]

why even ask the question if you said that?!
im getting the feeling you dont really know the meaning of love and thats disgusting!!!!!!!!!
sorry if that sounded harsh but come on!!!

There is no singular definition of love. It materializes and grows different for each individual person. So don't assume.

[Zero Ichi]

There is no singular definition of love. It materializes and grows different for each individual person. So don't assume.

well now there is cause people think they can say love and it not mean anything, i mean at least use the word "like", maybe its just me but it disgusts me to hear people say i love you like its nothing, its like words slowly lost their luster as the world grew and evolved...you still may not agree but i hope im not the only person who thinks like this

[SkY93]

well now there is cause people think they can say love and it not mean anything, i mean at least use the word "like", maybe its just me but it disgusts me to hear people say i love you like its nothing, its like words slowly lost their luster as the world grew and evolved...you still may not agree but i hope im not the only person who thinks like this

Words dont lose their meaning, they just evolve with the world.... and still the depth of any word depends on the person so Quote:
Originally Posted by suigintou
There is no singular definition of love. It materializes and grows different for each individual person. So don't assume.

[thaty]

Well inuaudi, you said that you love your boyfriend but got all confused with this other guy, for me it seems that the feeling that you have for your boyfriend is not enough cuz if you really love him "2 death" as you said you wouldn't be thinking about cheat him......

[Zero Ichi]

Words dont lose their meaning, they just evolve with the world.... and still the depth of any word depends on the person so Quote:
Originally Posted by suigintou
There is no singular definition of love. It materializes and grows different for each individual person. So don't assume.

maybe im just living in the wrong place of the world then, everyone around where i live says i love you to people they dont even know, its weird how you can say that and not really feel it, i agree with suig, its just that its really asenine that people can say it when they turn and want something else or dont even have a foundation for saying it, hopefully that time you got what i said, i think its a word that should be used only if it were true with the way you feel

EDIT:read thaty's post, totally correct, thats what pisses me off if its not true when you use it

[thaty]

maybe im just living in the wrong place of the world then, everyone around where i live says i love you to people they dont even know, its weird how you can say that and not really feel it, i agree with suig, its just that its really asenine that people can say it when they turn and want something else or dont even have a foundation for saying it, hopefully that time you got what i said, i think its a word that should be used only if it were true with the way you feel

EDIT:read thaty's post, totally correct, thats what pisses me off if its not true when you use it

I feel the same way as you... when I'm with someone and suddenly they say "I love you" even knowing that it's not for real it just makes me sick....

[Zero Ichi]

I feel the same way as you... when I'm with someone and suddenly they say "I love you" even knowing that it's not for real it just makes me sick....


im so happy that i have someone who thinks as i do!!! :kawaii:

[Corwin]

Threesome......'nuff said.

[Bobadoe]

Threesome......'nuff said.

Oh dear.....But...I do not disagree...

[Zero Ichi]

oh dear god corwin, you may have stumbled onto something here!!! hahahahaha

[BobCat]

Ok, but he's so sensitiive how do i tell him without him being sad, and he's been hurt so much...i promised him that i'd never do anything to hurt him!!!

Simple.

Don't hurt him.

[SkY93]

I feel the same way as you... when I'm with someone and suddenly they say "I love you" even knowing that it's not for real it just makes me sick....

even so...... I've said it before and ment it with all my heart..... and i've heard it said when someone doesn't mean it. It sounds the same, so how can you tell when they dont mean it.. Even if they act weird when theyh said it, ppl are like that and mean...Also, their are those who do not know the difference between love and lust and jump the gun when saying i love you.. So would you chastise someone who has no idea what they are doing, who has never been in that situation....And their are difffernt calibers of this word.. For example: Brotherly love,neighborly love, BFF love,Food love ect... this list is almost endless, so not saying that ppl dont do what you say and or trying to stand up for them, just want you to take in all the possibilities cause alot of times there is more than meats the eye to a situation.Plus this girl sounds confused, no need to make her feel bad also.....

[BobCat]

WARNING: OFFENSIVE MATERIAL AHEAD. FOR MATURE PEOPLE ONLY.




























Seriously, this may offend you, are you sure you are mature enough to handle this?






























Fact: Love is not just an emotion. If you only stick to the feelings, you will be in the shallow end of the pool and you'll never be able to learn to swim. If you only stay with someone because they give you warm fuzzy feelings, guess what? Sometimes the feelings are not there. Then what? You're not in love anymore? That's shallow.

The elderly lady who takes care of her husband while he suffers on his deathbed. I'm sure the warm fuzzies are not there - this is serious suffering. But she loves him because she takes care of him. Love is proven through actions, not feelings.

The mother who changes her baby's diaper. Oh yeah, she's getting warm fuzzies as the stink fills the room. And seeing the disgusting poop. Yup, more fuzzies. NOT! But she does this disgusting task because she loves her baby.

When the beloved loses his job and now you're struggling to pay the bills, is there warm fuzzies there? Of course not. But love says "we keep going" even though the warm fuzzies are not there.

When the beloved is forced to work serious amount of overtime and you hardly see him anymore. Yup. Warm fuzzies there. NOT. Love understands the sacrifice he makes to keep food on the table for the family.

Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance.

That is true love. It is not just a bunch of warm fuzzies. Many times, they are not there. If you are in true love, actions speak very loud, and true.

So back to your problem. This new guy gives you the warm fuzzies while you claim to love your boyfriend to pieces. Well, time for you to step up to the plate and love.

Don't hurt your boyfriend.

If you love him, you deal with the fact you don't have warm fuzzies because you are seperated by a short distance (across town in San Antonio? That's not much) If you truly are in love, as you claim, then warm fuzzies don't matter - the beloved matters.

So, what is your choice? Love? Or Warm fuzzies?

Make the right and mature choice.

[SkY93]

BobCat has said it all...... and it is all to true....

[Bobadoe]

Who's overly dramatic?

Oh yeah BobCat...

[BobCat]

I gotta be careful.

We live in a society that tells people love is only just a feeling. Music, TV, cable, magazines - all send the message that once the warm fuzzies are gone, well, you're not in love and that's it. Boyfriend doesn't have enough money? Dump him and find a rich dude. Boyfriend doesn't give you the warm fuzzies? Dump him and find another. Boyfriend is not....ahem, big enough? Find another who is. Both men and women do this because they're told this lie of what love is.

Modern society sells shallowness as "love" - then when the shallow stuff is not there, well, they say it can't be love. In reality, it is just another excuse to treat each other as disposable things instead of flesh, and blood human beings.

Some people are offended when they are told that love is not just an emotion. That's why I put the warnings in there :)

[SkY93]

I gotta be careful.

We live in a society that tells people love is only just a feeling. Music, TV, cable, magazines - all send the message that once the warm fuzzies are gone, well, you're not in love and that's it. Boyfriend doesn't have enough money? Dump him and find a rich dude. Boyfriend doesn't give you the warm fuzzies? Dump him and find another. Boyfriend is not....ahem, big enough? Find another who is. Both men and women do this because they're told this lie of what love is.

Modern society sells shallowness as "love" - then when the shallow stuff is not there, well, they say it can't be love. In reality, it is just another excuse to treat each other as disposable things instead of flesh, and blood human beings.

Some people are offended when they are told that love is not just an emotion. That's why I put the warnings in there :)'

True also, ppl now are offended by just about any truth, or real definition of anything........its so ironic cause they want honesty, but dint like the truth they here....

[BobCat]

'

True also, ppl now are offended by just about any truth, or real definition of anything........its so ironic cause they want honesty, but dint like the truth they here....

Yup.

They want honesty and are offended when they get it. So some people lie to them to avoid offending them and then they find out the hard way it was false and then they're hurt twice as much.

[Zero Ichi]

even so...... I've said it before and ment it with all my heart..... and i've heard it said when someone doesn't mean it. It sounds the same, so how can you tell when they dont mean it.. Even if they act weird when theyh said it, ppl are like that and mean...Also, their are those who do not know the difference between love and lust and jump the gun when saying i love you.. So would you chastise someone who has no idea what they are doing, who has never been in that situation....And their are difffernt calibers of this word.. For example: Brotherly love,neighborly love, BFF love,Food love ect... this list is almost endless, so not saying that ppl dont do what you say and or trying to stand up for them, just want you to take in all the possibilities cause alot of times there is more than meats the eye to a situation.Plus this girl sounds confused, no need to make her feel bad also.....


i could easily answer that, if theyre actions betray you, look at my first post that got shot down, its cuz she thought about cheating on her boyfriend that shows that she doesnt really love him, all i was trying to point out, and people had to be defensive cause they think they know everything, im not saying i do either but for the love of god i dont wanna hear someone say they love someone and ask if they should cheat on them!!!

christ!!!
love is a word,WHEN INVOLVING PEOPLE(sky), that should be used only when you truthfully mean it, and like you said, sky, dont jump the gun, sure your going to get warm fuzzy feelings with someone, doesnt fucking mean you love them, i would explain but all you gotta do is read bobcats post
it sickens me that people are like this, love is something you do not toy around with, its something that you do, cause you feel it with every fiber of your body

now do you understand what ive been saying?! sorry if my words were too loose for you to comprehend! and yea that was sarcasm, cause the only thing that pisses me off is when people never own up to their feelings

now can i stop getting crap as if im wrong?

[BobCat]

Zero, you're not wrong.

"so how can you tell when they dont mean it" Simple.

Suppose you had a guy who said he's your friend. He says all the nice words and you think he's a friend. Then one day you catch him saying all kinds of BS about you to his friends (he doesn't know you are listening) - that's proof he's not really your friend but a phony.

Same thing with love.

How can one say "I love you, but I want to cheat on you with this other guy" with a straight face?

How can one say "I love someone but I want to hurt them by cheating on them"

They can't. Not without being phony.

The words must correspond with the actions.

[SkY93]

i could easily answer that, if theyre actions betray you, look at my first post that got shot down, its cuz she thought about cheating on her boyfriend that shows that she doesnt really love him, all i was trying to point out, and people had to be defensive cause they think they know everything, im not saying i do either but for the love of god i dont wanna hear someone say they love someone and ask if they should cheat on them!!!

christ!!!
love is a word,WHEN INVOLVING PEOPLE(sky), that should be used only when you truthfully mean it, and like you said, sky, dont jump the gun, sure your going to get warm fuzzy feelings with someone, doesnt fucking mean you love them, i would explain but all you gotta do is read bobcats post
it sickens me that people are like this, love is something you do not toy around with, its something that you do, cause you feel it with every fiber of your body

now do you understand what ive been saying?! sorry if my words were too loose for you to comprehend! and yea that was sarcasm, cause the only thing that pisses me off is when people never own up to their feelings

now can i stop getting crap as if im wrong?

The thought of cheating does not show that you dont love someone, no one is God.. when in a vulnerable situation such as love many a thing may pop into your head.How your react to that is a different story.. And question, if love is not something you just feel then how and i qoute "cause you feel it with every fiber of your body."How could this be love???
This is not saying that your completely wrong, just that there are somethings that i dont agree with.... lol nice use of sarcasim,and yes that was sarcasim

[SkY93]

Zero, you're not wrong.

"so how can you tell when they dont mean it" Simple.

Suppose you had a guy who said he's your friend. He says all the nice words and you think he's a friend. Then one day you catch him saying all kinds of BS about you to his friends (he doesn't know you are listening) - that's proof he's not really your friend but a phony.

Same thing with love.

How can one say "I love you, but I want to cheat on you with this other guy" with a straight face?

How can one say "I love someone but I want to hurt them by cheating on them"

They can't. Not without being phony.

The words must correspond with the actions.

Im just saying how can you be angry with them at the exact moment if you haven't let them act on their words,and like i said before the thought is not wrong,because in a way like love, wrong thoughts and wrong actions are two different things....no one in this world has gone without an wrong thought(exept Jesus)...so the thought does not make her bad

[BobCat]

Im just saying how can you be angry with them at the exact moment if you haven't let them act on their words,and like i said before the thought is not wrong,because in a way like love, wrong thoughts and wrong actions are two different things....no one in this world has gone without an wrong thought(exept Jesus)...so the thought does not make her bad

I think you are confusing
*temptation of cheating
versus
*acting on the temptation of cheating

Everyone is tempted to do wrong. The part is: When temptation comes, what is the choice that is made? True love says "no, I won't do wrong to the beloved"

If she were merely tempted to cheat, that's one thing. She came here asking if she should cheat.

The correct answer is "no, she should not cheat"

Period.

True love says "no, I won't do wrong to the beloved"

[SkY93]

To be honest, i dont know why i stand up for this chick cause she is in hella ways wrong, but out of the kindness of my heart here i go again...
You always have to consider if she knows what she is doing and ind she has ever really been in love before...She may have been looking for confermation on what to do......Or simply trying to figure out if she was a bad person for her thoughts of giving in to temptation.......sigh... dont know why i even said that... not like she even reads this anymore...what was the point in her asking the question if every but her checks in on it.... SMF!

[Zero Ichi]

then like ive said a million times(exaggerated but necessary considering your still puttin up an argument), why did she say love to begin with if she really doesnt know it, according to your theory!
thats what ive been saying, it disgusts me when peopke say i love you to someone and not really feel it, and for sake of not having to type that again, maybe she has a reason and she hasnt seen many people then what i say is, dont say love if you dont understand it, noone can understand it if its their first, second, or possibly even their third person theyve been with, one more and hopefully final time,
IM UTTERLY DISGUSTED BY THE FACT THAT LOVE IS A WORD USED SO LOOSELY LIKE IT MEANS NOTHING BETWEEN PEOPLE!!!
like i said before all she had to do is say she likes the boy, cause thats probably closer to the truth given the fact she asked if she should cheat, i hate hearing and/or seeing the word love and its not meant!!!

Done.
Finished.
Inuaudi, in all honesty, your probably a good girl, but please if you truly love the kid then dont do it, if you truly love the kid then you will wait!
I love a girl and i plan to wait for her, for as long as needed, nuff said!!!

[Mugen]

Cheat on him, he doesn't need to know. After all, a woman needs to be satisfied. ::D:

[BobCat]

To be honest, i dont know why i stand up for this chick cause she is in hella ways wrong, but out of the kindness of my heart here i go again...

I believe that it is cruel to cheat on someone who one apparently claims to love.

There's also another saying "If you're kind to the cruel, you're cruel to the kind" - defending someone who wants to hurt another....well, that's just cruel to the one being hurt.

Also, I have another objection to this: We have not heard from HER about anything that was said in this thread. Please don't be her lawyer unless she has agreed for you to be it :) Let her speak for herself. Let's see what she thinks about what we all said.



You always have to consider if she knows what she is doing and ind she has ever really been in love before...She may have been looking for confermation on what to do......Or simply trying to figure out if she was a bad person for her thoughts of giving in to temptation.......sigh... dont know why i even said that... not like she even reads this anymore...what was the point in her asking the question if every but her checks in on it.... SMF!

I'm not saying she's a bad person. I think she's too young to be even in a relationship at age 15.

Personally, I don't think she knows what she is doing - so she shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Girls these days get told all kinds of nonsense about dating by our modern society. And both the boys and girls suffer because of the nonsense. It is good for her to ask advice.

We're dealing with the heart of a living, breathing human being here. It should be treated with care, and not broken willy-nilly by unfaithfulness - on EITHER side!

If I had a daughter, she wouldn't be able to date until she's 16. And even then under very limited circumstances, I'd have to meet the guy and actually get to know him. If he refuses to meet me, this shows he does not have the requisite bravery and respect to date my daughter. I like the 8 rules:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8_Simple_Rules


Oh, and *WHOMP* mugen :)

[Zero Ichi]

bravo bobcat, bravo!!
me and you see these things in the same way, thats awesome!
hopefully she has read and noticed the right thing to do, i also hope we didnt scare her from posting again from our little arguement, but either way i hope she has learned what to do.....WAIT FOR HIM, yes? hahahah

i like the 8 rules too, ill follow by those when and if i have a daughter, whenever that time comes!

[BobCat]

I agree, I hope she wasn't scared off by this huge long discussion.

[SkY93]

Thats one thing i agree on, she should really read all this..... and inform us of her decision....she should wait and prove those words of hers...

[Zero Ichi]

sky i thats something everyone can agree to, i wanna know what she has taken from all of this!

[inuaudi101]

ok...thank u all so much every1- i read everything u guys have 2 say, im terribly sorry that i havent been around a lot- ive ben very busy with my family and othr personal matters. im sorry to kep all of u guys waiting, but i made my choice- thank u all so much guys!!!^-^!!! but i choice...........my boy friend....... thanku all so very much!!!! and im rely sorry 4 being such a burden........... u uys really did open my eyes............ and know i might be leavin af for good.............. no more questions asked..........goodbye..........

[Bobadoe]

ok...thank u all so much every1- i read everything u guys have 2 say, im terribly sorry that i havent been around a lot- ive ben very busy with my family and othr personal matters. im sorry to kep all of u guys waiting, but i made my choice- thank u all so much guys!!!^-^!!! but i choice...........my boy friend....... thanku all so very much!!!! and im rely sorry 4 being such a burden........... u uys really did open my eyes............ and know i might be leavin af for good.............. no more questions asked..........goodbye..........

Huh?

Where you a burden?.......No. We chose to answer on our own free will and enjoyed giving our opinions.

You opened your eyes.......That is good. Going through life with open eyes and a open mind help on this little journey.

Leave AF....... Da hell you thinkin? Stay, enjoy.

No more Questions asked?........ What kind of world would it be without questions and those to answer them....I do not want to know that world.

Goodbye?........I hope not.... If you do.... "Have fun first of all, be thoughtful of other people, be aware of the world around you, be there for everything." -My grandfather.

Why did I say all of this?..........I am asking you...I have no idea.

[BobCat]

ok...thank u all so much every1- i read everything u guys have 2 say, im terribly sorry that i havent been around a lot- ive ben very busy with my family and othr personal matters. im sorry to kep all of u guys waiting, but i made my choice- thank u all so much guys!!!^-^!!! but i choice...........my boy friend....... thanku all so very much!!!! and im rely sorry 4 being such a burden........... u uys really did open my eyes............ and know i might be leavin af for good.............. no more questions asked..........goodbye..........

Aww, don't be like that. We were glad to help you out. You were not a burden on anyone.

Who scared her off? *WHOMP* *WHOMP* *WHOMP* *WHOMP* *WHOMP* to whomever did :)

[Mugen]

Yeah, you're a burden. So heavy, you're making it impossible to move.

The only thing to ease the load would be a $50 donation to me via PayPal.

[wi_sam]

Teanagers..

[SkY93]

ok...thank u all so much every1- i read everything u guys have 2 say, im terribly sorry that i havent been around a lot- ive ben very busy with my family and othr personal matters. im sorry to kep all of u guys waiting, but i made my choice- thank u all so much guys!!!^-^!!! but i choice...........my boy friend....... thanku all so very much!!!! and im rely sorry 4 being such a burden........... u uys really did open my eyes............ and know i might be leavin af for good.............. no more questions asked..........goodbye..........

Aww dont leave, we really enjoyed your question and would forward to another... Glad to hear your choice is the right one...And you very welcome....

[inuaudi101]

i dont want 2 leave af but- i just found out that my parentz r geting a divorce and i have to liv w my mom all the way out.....somewher- and she says that the internet service is down there- i dont wana leve.............:( but i have 2- i have about 6 more days until i have 2 officially go, i dont wanna go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SkY93]

Im very sorry that this is happening, and i hope it doesnt effect your relationship...It is very sadning to hear.... when you do go you can always try to get on whenever tho....

[Zero Ichi]

yea whenever you get the chance jump on AF and catch up, this place aint going nowhere!! :kawaii:

[BobCat]

*WHOMP* Mugen

[inuaudi101]

thankz guys!!!! this plac z such a heaven- i am going to miss all of u guys so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zero Ichi]

awww its not bye, just see you later, cause there will be times when you pop in adn out on this site, you will get the chance to!

[Mugen]

Guys, I received an e-mail from inuaudie101... it's not looking good.

No internet indefinitely.

[Bobadoe]

Guys, I received an e-mail from inuaudie101... it's not looking good.

No internet indefinitely.

Oooo.... Harsh....

[Zero Ichi]

im thinking this is a lie, its mugen after all!

but if it be true then it is a sad thing, indeed!

[inuaudi101]

yes guys- though i dont remembr emailin mugen- today z my last day- @ 6:30 ill be gone and @ my moms hous- im rely sory 4 leving all of you but i hav 2.

[wi_sam]

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/10/30/128698790200214271.jpg

[Bobadoe]

*looks at wi_sams post*...... Oh dear....

That is hilarious....

[BobCat]

*WHOMP* wi_sam

[gdfer]

don´t hurt him, call him and tell him how much you love

[wi_sam]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/0/0c/Pedobear_wallpaper.jpg

[Bobadoe]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! RUN AWAY LITTLE CHILDREN!!!!! TO Wi_SAMS HOUSE!!!!

IT IS SAFE THERE!!!!! HURRY!!!!

[Axe Man]

Shouldn't this be in like therapy section or something?

[Zero Ichi]

probably doesnt matter anymore since the one who started the thread is now gone, apparently, never to come back

[BobCat]

Stick a fork in this thread, it is done.

[Yumi-san]

Umm I wish I could help
u but I have the same
problem..I like Kent,
Ivan,Kyon,Jim,Nicolas and
Denis..What
should I do ?? :dizzy:

[Axe Man]

Umm I wish I could help
u but I have the same
problem..I like Kent,
Ivan,Kyon,Jim,Nicolas and
Denis..What
should I do ?? :dizzy:


You should make a thread,,, This one is closed.