Excuses so lame they actually work

[suune]

The title tells you all.

What are your most successful excuses and what are your lamest excuses? When do they work and when do they fail epically? What's your favorite excuse?

What excuse would you like to try someday?

Note: You don't really have to answer these Q. They are an excuse for the current block in your head.

[Zieghart]

I forgot... :oo:



*yeah that was my excuse*

[am0184]

My dog ate it.
I'm lazy.
My house caught fire.
I was mauled by bears and had to fight them off. Homework wasn't an option.
I was under a zombie siege and had to fight them off. Homework wasn't an option.
I was too busy being awesome.

[analogZero]

I fly by the seat of my pants in situations of excuse. Telling them they're right usually lessens any potential punishment too. even if they're not. just go with it, it's the easy way through life.

[Corwin]

I left early one day of work, skipped the next day, came back in after the weekend, and found out I no longer had a job. So attempting to look very confused(must have worked) I spun a tale of having that missed day off ahead of time, rampant alcoholism, and an inability to even remember what I had for breakfast that morning. Needless to say either I'm an incredible actor or they were morons, guess which way I'm leaning(a'duh), because I still worked there 6 months later. I'll regale you with others later.

[cutieB]

I forgot about it i do have other classes you know.

[Mr.Control]

It fell into my fish tank and became an iresistable chew toy for my cat!

[zedeath]

my favorite excuse , is , "Hey , I'm human you know".........XD

[spingo]

my fav has to be *sorry i left it at my dads*

[Aizen-Sama]

My stupidest one was My Dog ate it(It worked due to stupid teacher)
My best one was to make a scene and say I got into a fight(After fighting random person in desperate situation)

[suune]

"I'm busy being busy." That one worked. Was fun.

"I read that book! Just a long time ago - yesterday." I heard this one somewhere.

"The essay for our homework was doomed to be an epic failure so I didn't even try." just where did he find this one? and, no, the teacher was a bit smarter than this.

[bloodgurl8]

Mine was, "I forgot it." Worked every time.

[Jello]

-i cant remember.... (an excuse)
-its definately NOT my fault, trust me
-it fell into the space time continueum, never to be found again (my friends excuse, he loses a lot of things)

-what i want to use someday for a being late situation "i had explosive diarrhea, it just couldnt wait any longer."

[carolyn07]

...i had migraine!,.

that was my most used excuse of all time,.specially when asking my professor to give me special exams!,.hihihi!,.♥

[bluedragon]

my car broke down......always worked XD

[wi_sam]

I didn't do it

[suune]

I didn't do it

Epic, classic - yet works over and over again.

[Sun Tzu]

I was sitting in my math class one day when I realized there was a test I wasn't prepared for. In this class there are 3 tests per year, each worth approximately 20% of your grade, so you can understand how unwilling I was to fail one of them. So 20 minutes into the test I ran up to the teacher with an extremely frightened expression on my face and told her that my mother had just gone into labor and didn't have a ride to the hospital. After a little bit of cajoling I was able to get her to let me go, and take the test again at a later date.

And it was on that day that my little sister Samantha was created. A wonderful 7 pound 8 ounce baby, with a beautiful crop of auburn hair. Almost 7 months old now and already crawling around the room.

[wi_sam]

http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/en_easyart/lg/7/1/The-Simpsons---I-didn-t-do-it-Mini-Posters-71134.jpg

[BleacHLova]

Question: "Why didn't you answer your phone."
Lame Excuse: ".....I was in the bathroom."

That is the lamest excuse I ever heard

[alsharid]

Question: "Why didn't you answer your phone."
Lame Excuse: ".....I was in the bathroom."

That is the lamest excuse I ever heard

Haha, I use this excuse just about everyday.

This one works if you have a lazy teacher.
My <insert animal/relative> died.

[suune]

Question: Why did you fall asleep at work?
Answer: I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan(SLEEP) XD

I think I'm gonna like this one. xD

[Waste]

If someone asks me to do something and I don't want too I say. "Too much effort." Or just "Effort."

[Zero Ichi]

hahah good one bobcat, thats the best for being asleep

i also like the glorious, "dont look at me!"
that one has helped many a time!!

[Bobadoe]

"Boss I have a hangover that could kill a water buffalo..."

"Well Tony what are you going to to do about it?"

"GOING TO OCTOBER FEST BITCH!!!!!!!!!!"

Never works.....

[Zero Ichi]

"Boss I have a hangover that could kill a water buffalo..."

"Well Tony what are you going to to do about it?"

"GOING TO OCTOBER FEST BITCH!!!!!!!!!!"

Never works.....

hmmm i like it, maybe lose the bitch part and you will be golden!!!

[Bobadoe]

hmmm i like it, maybe lose the bitch part and you will be golden!!!

No because that is how the story goes....man he is an idiot..

[suigintou]

"I'm on my period."

It excuses you from a lot of things...provided you're a girl.

[Bobadoe]

"JOHNSON!!!, why are you late for work????"

"Ever been abducted by Aliens? It is a bitch to get back in time for work."

[Zero Ichi]

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SLEEPING ON THE JOB?!"

"Sir please keep quiet, this is how i think, now give me a little longer until i think of a solution to this problem!"

unbelievable thing is that this worked!! hahaha
thats awesome!

[Bobadoe]

"JOHNSON, what are you late??"

"I had to go back to my house."

"WHY!!!!"

"Well, I was talking to my psychiatrist on the phone and she said that the gun is not a good idea..."

[iChisaChan]

when my parents ask me to clean up the house,I say "I will in a minute" then pretend like I forget about it.They get pissed,but it works.

[giovanni r]

These Are funny!!

[Zero Ichi]

hahaha had a good one today

i was setting up for a wedding tomorrow, i had to wheel like 200 dishes back into the dish room<---go figure, but i dropped a couple, its my second day there, one of the kids thats been there starts to yell so i look him in the eyes and twitch saying, "im sorry sometimes my body moves on its own, its like a mild turrettes syndrome..."at that point i look down at the ground

he feels bad and pats me on the shoulder, "look its ok, this happens all the time, im the one who should be sorry here!"

this dragged on a little while and i got off scott-free, he found out later that i was lying but was a good sport about it cause i was so good at acting! hahahah fucking great!!