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analogZero
02-23-2009, 02:44 PM
I remember seeing this some years back, and have now come upon it again.
enjoy!



The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

SmokedBoo
02-23-2009, 04:39 PM
Wow. That was awesome. Makes me wish I was that smart to come up with that.
+rep for sharing your find.

Anime_Dude
02-23-2009, 04:52 PM
LMAO
that was one of the best answers I have ever heard

Waste
02-23-2009, 06:04 PM
I would give him full marks for the pure bullshit of it.

Ryuuzaki
02-23-2009, 06:37 PM
LOL! That was awesome. Kudos to whomever wrote that.

AyumiBee
02-23-2009, 07:41 PM
Wow pretty good :O Extra "Oh my God"s for the guy from Teresa :P

Koopaking
02-23-2009, 08:23 PM
Hehe, pretty amusing, but of course I'd have to call shenanigans on the answer and probably the whole essay. Call me a stickler but the person got the laws wrong, they would be using the Combined Gas Law for the relation of Pressure, Temperature, and Volume all at once (Boyle's Law deals only with the inverse relationship of Pressure and volume when temperature is kept constant) and this would only work if the amount of gas was kept constant. Since souls are coming in, the amount is increasing, which would render the Combined Gas Law void unless he does some gas stoichiometry to figure the mass of the souls and how they impact the relation of the pressure, volume, and temperature of Hell.

In fact, you wouldn't even need to use gas laws to determine if Hell is exothermic or endothermic. You would have to determine whatever sort of reaction would be occurring in Hell (impossible seeing as it's not given in the question) and would need to be able to find out if the products of this reaction release or take in energy. In fact, the question is completely impossible to answer since there is no information given whatsoever, as one cannot assume all the test takers are familiar with "Hell" and if they were, it is considered a mythical place in which the laws of science would have no meaning.

Nice answer, pretty funny, but too bad the question is moot and the science behind the supposed answer is illogical.
Science is serious business.

atomsk
02-23-2009, 11:25 PM
koop just ruined it :serious: anyhows fucking hilarious +rep

analogZero
02-24-2009, 09:16 PM
Hehe, pretty amusing, but of course I'd have to call shenanigans on the answer and probably the whole essay. Call me a stickler but the person got the laws wrong, they would be using the Combined Gas Law for the relation of Pressure, Temperature, and Volume all at once (Boyle's Law deals only with the inverse relationship of Pressure and volume when temperature is kept constant) and this would only work if the amount of gas was kept constant. Since souls are coming in, the amount is increasing, which would render the Combined Gas Law void unless he does some gas stoichiometry to figure the mass of the souls and how they impact the relation of the pressure, volume, and temperature of Hell.

In fact, you wouldn't even need to use gas laws to determine if Hell is exothermic or endothermic. You would have to determine whatever sort of reaction would be occurring in Hell (impossible seeing as it's not given in the question) and would need to be able to find out if the products of this reaction release or take in energy. In fact, the question is completely impossible to answer since there is no information given whatsoever, as one cannot assume all the test takers are familiar with "Hell" and if they were, it is considered a mythical place in which the laws of science would have no meaning.

Nice answer, pretty funny, but too bad the question is moot and the science behind the supposed answer is illogical.
Science is serious business.

Well ya, it just makes a general assessment on what hell is. I think the question refers better to a furnace than hell itself, because as you said, how are you supposed to know what's going on in hell. Maybe the flames are fueled by the hell gas company and everything's strictly regulated.
Flaws appreciated, it's still an awesome bit of reading. I'd give the guy an A.

Vakarak
02-27-2009, 12:13 PM
That was probably the greatest literary piece I have ever read from a student. I worship the shit that that guy expels so profoundly from his blessed head.

Abarai
02-27-2009, 04:43 PM
God!that's fucking brilliant!this guy must be a little crazy and a psycho in order to write this!i would give him an A+ just because he put thought into this crap he wrote XD