View Full Version : Tact: How "Honest" Is Too Honest?
01-05-2009, 10:59 PM
I was randomly philosophizing about people's mannerisms, and interactions with other humans.
Some pride themselves in being brutally honest, but -as there is a tasteful balance in all in this world- just how much honesty is too much?
Consider for a moment in your life when someone has blatantly said something that you feel they could have gone without. Have you ever been in a conversation and felt that certain statements don't contribute much to the topic at hand, or could actually hurt someone's feelings?
Realize that we affect people in so many ways. Something that you might forget tomorrow could have the other person mulling over it for weeks. When arguing with a lover or friend, we might retort with:
"What are you talking about?"
"But that was no big deal! I thought you'd take it as a joke!"
. . ."Well it truly hurt me". . .
You wonder in slight disbelief, but other people's hurts may me little to you, but they're a concern for those people.
I know my concept might be a bit vague, but surely others believe in "Tactful honesty".
Sometimes people are just a little too brash.
Anyone else thing brutal honesty is a teeny overrated?
Can anyone give real-life examples as to why or why not?
01-05-2009, 11:14 PM
i agree with you on the subject but i cant give an example of it sorry.:dead:
01-05-2009, 11:33 PM
All I know is that I can only be brutally honest with my friends. Can't do that with a girlfriend. Why? Women have a lot of silly ideas in their heads and they don't realize men are simple creatures so they go and always ask us these stupidly impossible questions, like the ones that no matter what way you answer it she's not going to like it. Example, my first girlfriend asked me this once, "If you could go out with any of my friends who would it be." I didn't know why she asked this but I thought it was nothing so I told her the truth. What happens then? Well why do you like her, you know she is a slut, blah blah blah blah blah. Then she starts getting mad for telling her the truth and we get into this HUGE fight. They corner you with the stupid impossible question and then hate us for lying and hate us for telling the truth. If women say they want the truth, that only mean they want to hear what they want to hear, not the actual truth. So, men, do yourselves a favor, don't tell the truth. Lie, lie, lie and then lie some more. Whatever can be done to keep her happy cause in all seriousness, American women are dangerous and should be treated gently...with a 10 ft pole.
01-06-2009, 03:08 PM
yes at times being honest does call for some restraint but also keep in mind some ppl are both extremely ignorant and arogent. SO someyimes that brutal honesty is called for. For me personally when ppl try and pussyfoot around something as delicate as possible is ticks me off.
01-06-2009, 06:00 PM
In my opinion, honesty can sometimes be more fun than dishonesty. A perfect example:
"Do these pants make me look fat?"
"No, but the fact that you're fat makes you look fat."
01-06-2009, 06:41 PM
Well I tell my friends the truth if they ask me or least I try always be the most honest. For example you're boyfriends is an ass I woul break up with him in one minute he is such a jerk. Well it might hurt them, but the fact is that whom I told these were actually true but they love their partners though they are often feel sad ect. So I try to say it less and less. But I can't stand that they are hurt, even if it was their bf who hurt them:/
And there are times I don't say out loud things, I know I could make them really hurt with this one sentence, still I wouldn't say it because I don't want to hurt them that much.
01-06-2009, 06:53 PM
Well since I just woke up, I'm a little foggy and don't quite understand the exact point of this thread even reading all of it twice, but I'm sure I can make some sort of on topic post. Anyway, I try and be as honest as possible. I'm sure that most of you are aware that me being honest can hurt. Brutal honesty, in my opinion, should be used when either the time is right or you don't care about upsetting the person (this is usually my reason for being brutally honest, by the way). At times, yes, you shouldn't be brutally honest, but instead be right outside of it.
01-06-2009, 09:24 PM
brute, straight up honesty is something you reserve. It's delivered when needed, in the appropriate tone and circumstance. otherwise simple honesty can be employed.
Someone who can't respect a sharp dose of reality and truth likely hold little trust in your thoughts, opinions and judgment. Trust is the foundation for all relationships, be they friendly, or *wink*friendly*wink*, it's important to know who you're comfortable with spilling a soul raping truth. You can't be accountable for those with a heart of glass, and how they may react after they've demanded accurate knowledge or observations. You learn not to cry over spilt milk as a child, so if you haven't adapted to a world that hasn't been spit shined on a daily basis for you, then tough titty.
01-06-2009, 09:44 PM
Its good to be honest, but sometimes you need to think about the things you say before you speak.
01-07-2009, 05:02 AM
Being honest can benifit and also it can be bad, for example:
You and your family is buying a house. You found this prfect house and is just about to sign the contract to buying it.
Suddenly, the seller's son(about 4-5 years old) comes and whispers to you and your family," Don't buy this house. This house have termites...."
Therefore, you gave up on the house. This benifited you but in the mean time it disbenifted the other side. Funny story though.
It's not that i don't like being dishonest, words comes out of my mouth without thinking so i tell mostly the truth.
01-24-2009, 10:25 AM
...well,.i think its better to be honest than not!,.
if your sort of brutally honest,i think its okei,.at least you know the truth and your not believing alie!,.
for example you have this shirt,.you like it so much and you thought its looks good on you,.but its not,.and you ask somebody if it really looks good on you and then says that it isnt,.
its better than going around the mall wearing the shirt looking stupid because of the thought that its cool on you though its not really!,.
there are some people who laugh at people's mistake and i dont want my friends to be laugh at by others so i tell them frankly what i think and my views!,.♥
01-24-2009, 11:23 AM
well i think complete brutal honestly is a must between close friends ..but presented in a less dramatic way ..but i agree with you ..that sometimes ppl over do it ...i mean you can be brutaly honest but with out letting the other person feel bad about it .... in the end ... it depends on the person recieving it ....
01-24-2009, 02:02 PM
You should always be brutally honest.
"I think someone broke your pc."
"I broke your pc."
The latter is so much quicker, if you go with the former, you'll get more questions.
01-24-2009, 02:31 PM
Tell the truth or not tell the truth, that is the question.
I've seen a lot of that example. Some of my friends want their friends to say the truth, but when they do, they are offended. They are much happier when they are being lied about.
They know it, but still, they are happy. I think no one wants the whole truth as they say they want it, but it's become a habit to ''want to hear nothing but the truth.''
01-24-2009, 02:43 PM
Cuz' of this sometimes life is a lie....
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