angel-san
12-29-2008, 03:42 AM
I wanted to die, and my mind was made up. My parents died in a car accident when I was seventeen years old, and my aunt had taken my twin brother and me in. Everything was going well, for Riuki was a basketball player, and I was a part of the track team, we kept busy. The only thing aunt Kay asked of us was to get good grades, and if we did, we could do extra curricular activities.
Every single time I think about my brother, all that comes out are tears and a pain that never goes away. It feels like a thousand needles are stabbing me in the heart and there is nothing that keeps it from going away. I remember the day he died; however, I can not regain what was said at the funeral. Riuki was late for basketball practice because he told me that he had forgotten his things at home. However, I remember what he had put in the car for practice, and he always forgot his tennis shoes. I smile, thinking of the many times we fought on how he had always misplaced his shoes somewhere in his room. Anyway, Riuki was on his way back to school from the house when he got into an accident. The drunk driver said he did not see Riuki’s car on Main Ave. and 7th street, where he drove straight into the driver’s side, killing my brother at the time of contact.
A policeman came to school and asked me, “Are you Rose McFinley?” “Yes I am she,” I told the policeman. “I have some bad news to tell you Miss McFinley,” he started. By time he was done telling the story, I was already balling my eyes out, and the pain was so raw I felt like the wound was reopened from mom and dad’s death. At this time I wanted to die, and there was nothing holding me back. My friends rushed toward me immediately, asking, “Rose, Rose, are you okay,” they exclaimed, outraged, “Rose, what’s wrong,” they asked. I told them between breaths and my crying, “Ri…Ri…Riuki…he…is…gone…no….n...not...him too,” I cried into Emily’s shirt. From then on, I can not stop dreaming of his death, and what it could have been like.
I did not eat or drink for a long time, and I let myself go. I did not want to talk to anyone, and not even my aunt. For I loved her so much, all I could do was go to school and finish up my senior year. For my brother, I finished high school, for that is something he did not get to accomplish in his lifetime. I thought in my mind, there is no reason to live. However, in the end, I was wrong in my assumption. There is a reason to live, to move on in life, because that is what they want you to do. When I say they, I mean the people who count on you to live your life to the fullest. It is your family, your friends. However, since I only have my aunt and my uncle, they are reason enough to live on.
College is not the right thing for me at this point in time of my life. Instead I get a job, hoping I can save money and go somewhere to make a new start.
A year later, I have graduated from High School and I am working as a waitress at a popular restaurant in town. My family comes in once a week and sits at one of my tables so we could talk for several minutes. “McFinley,” said a voice in the headset. It was food for one of my tables, and it was ready. The night came to a close for another day. Tomorrow would be the same, and it would be like this day in and day out. It was not until one night in March when I first saw him. I knew it was a man by the figure, since a woman has more curves in her body. Thinking what I saw was probably a hallucination; I made myself believe that the dark figure was a part of a dream. Later that week, I had a suspicious feeling that someone was always looking over my shoulder, and I needed to watch my back. However, I never did see that figure again for quite a while.
I keep having a dream that is not scary nor is it happy, however, it keeps reoccurring, and I wish it can stop. It all started when I saw the figure in the parking lot. It makes me suspicious even thinking about it. However, I just drop the thought as simple as putting down a basketball in the middle of a court. And it stops bouncing back; however, in that case, this incident just does not want to stop bouncing back into my dreams. He captures my interest, and I keep wondering who and what he is and why he was invading my dreams. When I ask a question, he does not answer anything back in return. It is as if I want to know more about him because I find him attractive? “Yea, right, and I am in love with peter pan,” I comment to myself, and giggle.
I awake that night, gasping for air, as if I was startled from a nightmare. I lay my head on my pillow, thinking and wondering, will these reoccurring dreams ever stop? No one answered that question, even the night breeze, and for that, I was happy. Slipping on a robe and putting on my slippers, I go to the kitchen and have a nice cup of hot tea. What I found in there caught me off guard. It was my aunt, drinking some tea as well. Smiling, I gave her a hug from behind. “Couldn’t sleep as well,” she asked worried. “Yea Aunt Kay, I slept well, but I had a nightmare, so I thought I could get some tea in my system,” I replied back. There were a few minutes of silence, and then something Kay said made me feel better. “You know Rose, we have not gone on a road trip for quite a while since Riuki’s death,” she did not go any farther, knowing the issue about my brother made me feel the pain again in my side. “I’m sorry Hun,” she said apologetically. “It’s alright, Aunt Kay, what were you going to say about a road trip,” I replied eagerly. She said, “Would you like to go out of town for a while to see your Uncle Jared?” I nodded my head in approval, however, I thought about work. “Besides, you are due for a good break from work,” she added.
I talked to my boss the next day to see if it was okay to take a couple of weeks off to go visit family in Tennessee. “You know, I have been hounding you for a long time to take a vacation, and you never do. What made you change your mind,” he asked. “My Aunt Kay, she changed my mind to get away for a while,” I said. “Starting Monday, you have two weeks off for vacation. Have fun and tell me how it was in Tennessee when you get back,” he commented with a big grin on his face. Today was Friday and I was excited that I could get a nice break to get away from everything, and hopefully, the dream will not follow like a shadow.
Every single time I think about my brother, all that comes out are tears and a pain that never goes away. It feels like a thousand needles are stabbing me in the heart and there is nothing that keeps it from going away. I remember the day he died; however, I can not regain what was said at the funeral. Riuki was late for basketball practice because he told me that he had forgotten his things at home. However, I remember what he had put in the car for practice, and he always forgot his tennis shoes. I smile, thinking of the many times we fought on how he had always misplaced his shoes somewhere in his room. Anyway, Riuki was on his way back to school from the house when he got into an accident. The drunk driver said he did not see Riuki’s car on Main Ave. and 7th street, where he drove straight into the driver’s side, killing my brother at the time of contact.
A policeman came to school and asked me, “Are you Rose McFinley?” “Yes I am she,” I told the policeman. “I have some bad news to tell you Miss McFinley,” he started. By time he was done telling the story, I was already balling my eyes out, and the pain was so raw I felt like the wound was reopened from mom and dad’s death. At this time I wanted to die, and there was nothing holding me back. My friends rushed toward me immediately, asking, “Rose, Rose, are you okay,” they exclaimed, outraged, “Rose, what’s wrong,” they asked. I told them between breaths and my crying, “Ri…Ri…Riuki…he…is…gone…no….n...not...him too,” I cried into Emily’s shirt. From then on, I can not stop dreaming of his death, and what it could have been like.
I did not eat or drink for a long time, and I let myself go. I did not want to talk to anyone, and not even my aunt. For I loved her so much, all I could do was go to school and finish up my senior year. For my brother, I finished high school, for that is something he did not get to accomplish in his lifetime. I thought in my mind, there is no reason to live. However, in the end, I was wrong in my assumption. There is a reason to live, to move on in life, because that is what they want you to do. When I say they, I mean the people who count on you to live your life to the fullest. It is your family, your friends. However, since I only have my aunt and my uncle, they are reason enough to live on.
College is not the right thing for me at this point in time of my life. Instead I get a job, hoping I can save money and go somewhere to make a new start.
A year later, I have graduated from High School and I am working as a waitress at a popular restaurant in town. My family comes in once a week and sits at one of my tables so we could talk for several minutes. “McFinley,” said a voice in the headset. It was food for one of my tables, and it was ready. The night came to a close for another day. Tomorrow would be the same, and it would be like this day in and day out. It was not until one night in March when I first saw him. I knew it was a man by the figure, since a woman has more curves in her body. Thinking what I saw was probably a hallucination; I made myself believe that the dark figure was a part of a dream. Later that week, I had a suspicious feeling that someone was always looking over my shoulder, and I needed to watch my back. However, I never did see that figure again for quite a while.
I keep having a dream that is not scary nor is it happy, however, it keeps reoccurring, and I wish it can stop. It all started when I saw the figure in the parking lot. It makes me suspicious even thinking about it. However, I just drop the thought as simple as putting down a basketball in the middle of a court. And it stops bouncing back; however, in that case, this incident just does not want to stop bouncing back into my dreams. He captures my interest, and I keep wondering who and what he is and why he was invading my dreams. When I ask a question, he does not answer anything back in return. It is as if I want to know more about him because I find him attractive? “Yea, right, and I am in love with peter pan,” I comment to myself, and giggle.
I awake that night, gasping for air, as if I was startled from a nightmare. I lay my head on my pillow, thinking and wondering, will these reoccurring dreams ever stop? No one answered that question, even the night breeze, and for that, I was happy. Slipping on a robe and putting on my slippers, I go to the kitchen and have a nice cup of hot tea. What I found in there caught me off guard. It was my aunt, drinking some tea as well. Smiling, I gave her a hug from behind. “Couldn’t sleep as well,” she asked worried. “Yea Aunt Kay, I slept well, but I had a nightmare, so I thought I could get some tea in my system,” I replied back. There were a few minutes of silence, and then something Kay said made me feel better. “You know Rose, we have not gone on a road trip for quite a while since Riuki’s death,” she did not go any farther, knowing the issue about my brother made me feel the pain again in my side. “I’m sorry Hun,” she said apologetically. “It’s alright, Aunt Kay, what were you going to say about a road trip,” I replied eagerly. She said, “Would you like to go out of town for a while to see your Uncle Jared?” I nodded my head in approval, however, I thought about work. “Besides, you are due for a good break from work,” she added.
I talked to my boss the next day to see if it was okay to take a couple of weeks off to go visit family in Tennessee. “You know, I have been hounding you for a long time to take a vacation, and you never do. What made you change your mind,” he asked. “My Aunt Kay, she changed my mind to get away for a while,” I said. “Starting Monday, you have two weeks off for vacation. Have fun and tell me how it was in Tennessee when you get back,” he commented with a big grin on his face. Today was Friday and I was excited that I could get a nice break to get away from everything, and hopefully, the dream will not follow like a shadow.